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avatar trjayke 9 mon.agoIf Trump hates the gays, why did he get his ear pierced?

Too soon?

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What's better than winning the Special Olympics

Being elected President of the United States.

2. The city of Jacksonville Arkansas wanted to rename their city in light of the times. They were thinking of naming it after Elizabeth Warren

Unfortunately Pocohantas AR was already taken

3. There was a homeless man sleeping inside a big cardboard box outside the train station this morning.

Not wanting to disturb him, I crept over and put a Starbucks coffee cup on top of his box. He immediately woke up and said, "Thank you." "No problem." I smiled. He looked at me again and said, "It's empty." I said, "I know, it's meant to be a chimney."

4. I guess r/DarkJokeCentral lived up to it's name.

Just like the father, it just randomly disappeared.

5. Miss Polly had a dolly who was sick, sick, sick. So she phoned for the doctor to be quick, quick, quick. The doctor came with his bag and his hat...

...and he told Miss Polly her dolly has terminal cancer

6. What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?

When you pull them out, everyone wants to be your friend.

7. What did Cinderella say to the prince at midnight?

Gluc gluc gluc gluc

8. What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?

if the rubber breaks, your pretty much screwed

9. Why did Helen Keller’s dog kill itself?

You would too if your name was “EEEEUUUURGHHHHHH”

10. How does Jackson Pollock paint

Jackson jacks off

11. How do you call a white man with a big dick

Michael Jackson

12. A bullied boy who couldn't see, hear, smell, feel or taste punched me in the face yesterday.

I told him there was no need for senseless violence.

13. How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently more than 3, it's still pretty dark down there

14. Women rights are like incognito’s history

[ THEY DONT EXIST ]

15. What do you call a ice skating dwarf?

A midget spinner.

16. What do you call a teen boy who doesn’t masterbate? A liar!

17. I realized I wasn’t sexist cause it’s wrong

Because being wrong is for women

18. What’s the difference between me and puke?

Puke comes out of a baby, I cum in

19. What is the last bottle a woman opens in a party?

The Fairy.

20. What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil

The pencil has a point

21. I went to a vegan BBQ

I thought the Vegan was overcooked

22. What does 2016 and 2020 have in common

A gorilla caused nationwide backlash

23. What's the only thing in a vegetable that doesn't spoil?

The wheelchair.

24. How do you say "handsome black guy" in Chinese?

Goo loo king nee guo

25. What do you call a guy with a cock up his nose

Fuck knows?

26. Corana virus jokes......

......they only land with old people

27. What’s black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire

28. Why have elephants got big ears?

Because Noddy won’t pay the ransom.

29. Afghanistan.

Putting the infant into infantry.

30. So, members of the dwarfism community are offended by Jimmy Carr's joke are they?

Why don't they stop being so precious and just freakin' grow up.

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Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

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