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avatar No-Carpenter-3457 9 mon.agoI’ve been hearing a lot of Jewish jokes lately…

…Anne Frankly I’m not amused.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

A Fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out

2. Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

3. What’s black on the top and white on the bottom?

Crime rate

4. What do you call 5 black people having sex

a threesome

5. Did you hear what happened in El Paso, Texas?

About the Walmart that got turned into a Target?

6. All these Muslims hitting people with cars...

If the ***men*** are this bad at driving, I see why they don't let their women drive.

7. A black woman has 6 kids all named Jamal how does she tell them apart?

Their last names

8. What do priests and dentists have in common?

They both tell children to open wide.

9. What do mean people and gay people have in common?

They’re both just fucking assholes

10. What does a black kid and a tornado have in common?

It only takes one to ruin an entire neighborhood...

11. Whats the difference between a bullet and a jew?

The bullet actually comes out of the chamber

12. I tickled my little brother's foot yesterday and my mom went crazy and said

"Wait until he's born"

13. What's the difference between Paul Walker and a Computer?

I give a fuck when my computer crashes.

14. You know the razor blade works when there are no reviews on Amazon.

15. Whats the difference between a psychologist and my mum

I don’t have to pay my mum 100$/hour to call me retarded

16. Why can't black people get their PhD's?

Because they can't get past their masters

17. what's the difference between trans kids and emo kids?

trans kids actually kill themselves

18. The Europeans saw a bat and made Dracula.

The Americans saw a bat and made Batman. But those motherfucking Chinese made fucking soup.

19. What do you call a group of gay and autistic 13 year olds laughing at piles of shit?

/r/MeanJokes

20. A box of condoms, please. That’ll be 3,99. Do you want a bag with it? Nah I’m OK. She’s actually quite pretty.

21. A Jewish woman asked me for my number today

I told her we used names now.

22. WARNING: dark jokes ahead

My girlfriend is into some really strange roleplay when we have sex. She always insists on pretending to be 14 years old. I don't get why, she'll be 14 in a couple of years anyway Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHYYYY!!??". Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead" A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it. Q: What's the best part about dead baby jokes? A: They never get old. Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? A: Michael Phelps can finish a race. /// Q: What's the difference between Jews and Santa Claus? A: Santa comes down the chimney Q: What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A: A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven Q: What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire? A: A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it. Q: What do black people and bikes have in common? A: They stop working when you take the chains off Q: What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? A: Fitting in. Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: Name something commonly found in cells. Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer Q: Why do Asians have squinty eyes? A: Because atomic bombs are really bright.

23. I'm offended by you people making jokes about school shootings. Seriously, my friend died in one, I remembered his last words...

"Goddamnit! The cops are here, I guess I'll have the last round for myself."

24. I got arrested for killing a black man

They charged me with impersonating a police officer.

25. Why do disabled kids always get bullied?

The can’t stand up for themselves

26. Fat chicks shouldn't brag about big tits.

Having big tits because you're fat is like having a car that's fast because it's falling off a cliff.

27. A black man and arabic man are in a car,who is driving?

the police

28. What did the tampon say to the other tampon?

Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches

29. What do you call a French homosexual

A fagguette

30. My girlfriend broke up with me cause I stole her wheelchair

But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.

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