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avatar FartsLord 25 day.agoWhat’s the difference between living in USA and living in Russia?

Russia has less school shootings and more trade partners.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Whoever said white boys can't jump...

...has never seen footage from 9/11.

2. What’s the worst part about having a daughter with cancer?

You can’t pull her hair while you’re raping her

3. Mexican families in America

[removed]

4. A young German boy is rushed to the hospital half-dead, plagued by coughing fits and spasms

According to his parents, he accidentally used the guest shower

5. Spoiler: Snape dies.

6. What did the Gender fluid teenager get for Christmas?

Ignored, the attention seeking twat.

7. I couldn't believe it when my 19-year old son won the lottery and didn't want to have anything to do with me when I called to congratulate him...

His foster family have obviously raised him to be a little prick...

8. I dated a quadriplegic once..

I went to pick her up, and she fell for me instantly. It was a rough start, but after that - we were on a roll.

9. I saw a woman in the supermarket, struggling to control her kids, looking really stressed. She accidentally knocked over and smashed a bottle of milk. She dropped to her knees, burst into tears, surrounded by spilled milk...

I remembered something my dad used to say to my mom, so I walked over to her and said, "Get a fucking grip, you stupid bitch."

10. My wife texted me saying, "I've found out you've been fucking another woman you cheating bastard! I've taken my things and I'm going back to my mom's house!"

I texted back, "Ok, see you when you get here!"

11. Kurt Cobain had really bad dandruff.

They found his head and shoulders behind the couch.

12. Why does Santa have such a big sack

He only cums once a year

13. I thought we were done with celebrity deaths in 2016

And then Wham!

14. What was David Bowie's last hit?

Probably heroin

15. Asians are such terrible drivers

I'm beginning to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

16. Why don't Jew's eat pussy?

Too close to the gas chamber

17. Hi, I'm black and I can't stand it when people just assume we're all criminals.

-Sent from your iPhone-

18. I know you shouldn't pick favorites when it comes to your kids.

But only one of my daughters does anal, so it's really no contest.

19. How did Michael Jackson get food poisoning?

He ate an 11-year old bun.

20. What do black dads and nerf bullets have in common?

They both disappear fast

21. What’s the difference between liquid and Palestine

Liquid is a legitimate state

22. Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?

Because they make the toys.

23. XXXTentacion is not dead, he's just not mainstream anymore

He's an underground artist now

24. Two black guys are walking down the street...

Two black guys are walking down the street and see a sign that says turn white for $75 Black guy one: "Do you think it will work? Black guy two: "Only one way to find out." BG1: "I only have $50" BG2: "Well, I have $100, I'll go do it then give you my change BG1: "Let's do it then" BG2 goes in and fifteen minutes later comes out white as a ghost, wearing a brand new suit and carrying briefcase. BG1: "Holy shit it actually worked! Let me get that $25" BG2: "Fuck you, nigger. Get a job." ___________ xpost:r/sickipedia

25. What has one finger and is very demanding?

A ransom note...

26. What's the difference between Greta Thunberg and the Indian cashier at 7Eleven?

The Indian cashier can provide actual change.

27. Congratulations USA

Zero School shootings so far this year!

28. Half Life 3

29. I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."

I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

30. My first highschool football game was alot like my first time having sex.

I was bloody and sore at the end. But at least my dad came.

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