Joker King - find funny jokes from here.

are shocked to learn that they should not do their own electrical work.

A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed. He asked her where she was going. She replied: “I’m going to Las Vegas”. He questioned her as to why. “I just found out that I can make $500 a night doing what I give you for free”. He pondered that then went into the house and packed his bags and returned to the porch. “And just where do you think you’re going?” “I’m going with you!” he replied. “Why?” she asked. “I want to see how you are going to live on $1,000 a year!”

VivALDI’s

Bacteria

But for Indians… they probably came from Neander-Dal

I didn't try it, I prefer BBW, though there is a lot of overlap in the videos.

The woofabit.

Man: "Do you have sheeps testicles?" Butcher: "No, it's just the way these trousers hang."

...waiting for the doctor to allow him to see his wife and their new baby. A nurse steps into the waiting room and gets his attention. "Congratulations! How many children do you have now?" she asks. "This is my seventh," he says proudly. "I'm a sex machine!" "Well," the nurse replies, "you might want to check the oil in that engine of yours, because this one came out dark."

Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the color of the baby.

A grandmother looked after 2000 sheep alone in the village. A journalist came to make a report about it and asked the grandmother: \- "Tell us how you manage to look after 2000 sheep by yourself?" Grandma: \- "Well, I've been doing that all my life, I'm used to it." Journalist: \- "And how much does one sheep weigh?" Grandma: \- "Black or white?" Journalist: \- "Well, let's say white." Grandma: \- "30 kg." Journalist: \- "And black?" Grandma: \- "Well, the same." Journalist: \- "Okay, and how much milk does one sheep give?" Grandma: \- "Black or white?" Journalist: \- "Well, let's say white." \- "so 2 liters." \- "And black?" \- "Well, the same." \- "Okay, and how much wool from one sheep?" \- "Black or white?" \- "Let's say black." \- "3 kg." \- "And white?" \- "Well, the same." The journalist grows mad, realizing the grandma is messing with her. Journalist: \- "Well, what's the difference between black and white then?" Grandma: \- "Well, the white ones are mine." Journalist: \- "And the black ones?" Grandma: \- "Well, the same."

2 Na

'Scurvy

Interviewer: "...and a weakness?"

They call me Nostrawdamus.

She's under a lot of pressure

Woman calls a record shop and gets a wrong number. Woman: Do you have "Two lips and six kisses?" Man: No, but I do have two balls and six inches. Woman: Is that a record? Man: No ma'am, that's average.

He doesn’t want the crypt tonight.

So late one night a priest was showering and noticed there was no soap left so he ran to get a couple bars of soap when he heard 3 nuns walking toward him so he froze holding the two bars of soap. The first nun says I never noticed this statue before and reached out and tugged his junk and he was so surprised he dropped a bar of soap. The 2nd nun said ohh it's a soap dispenser so the 2nd nun tugged his junk he dropped the other bar. The 3rd nun tugged once nothing happens so she tugs it again nothing, so she tries a few more times then says oh wow it dispenses liquid soap as well.

It's on the tip of my tongue.

When I finish confessing my sins, I take a feather and tickle my nose so that I sneeze. And right after the priest says “God bless you” - I storm out of the church…

No, you fucking pervert. Its her nostrils... how else could sh breathe while giving you a blow job

The doctor asks, "Can I help you?" The duck says, "Yeah, can you get this guy off my butt?"

So I said “oh wow, I guess peggers CAN be choosers” True story

An insta-toot.

He died of dissentary.

Two guys are standing next to each other at a public convenience. The first guy turns to the second. “Pardon me, but you’re Jewish. Right?” “Yeah, I am.” “From New York?” “Yeah!!” “Park Avenue synagogue? Were you circumcised by Mohel Abelman?” “Yeah!!! How do you know???” “He’s cross eyed and always cuts at a slant. You’re pissing on my foot.”

They take the subway

sqrt(-1) sin/cos

Autumn because of the leavesdropping.