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avatar Famous_End_474 21 day.agoWhat a 19 years old virgin and a 50 years old divorced dad have in common

Their age range on dating apps.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. A man goes into a bar where loud music is playing.

He spots a pretty girl at the end of the bar and approaches her. ‘Would you like to dance?’ he asks her. ‘I really don’t like this song,’ she replies, ‘and even if I did I wouldn’t dance with you.’ ‘I don’t think you heard me correctly,’ says the man. ‘I said you look fat in those pants.’

2. What's long, black and smells like shit?

The unemployment line.

3. why am i anti-vax?

because i'm a necrophiliac pedophile.

4. I brought a trampoline and bounced on it

Until it went into labor Edit: Until it had a miscarriage

5. What’s the difference between a cop and a bullet?

After a bullets killed someone it’s been fired

6. I like to give the families of coma victims hope....

By placing a half eaten sandwich in their hand

7. How do you fuck a mermaid?

Coral

8. What do you call

Taking a fat dump in the wheel chair stall? A handi-crap

9. My neighbor was just arrested for murdering a black man.

He was charged with impersonating a police officer

10. Why are most life guards white?

You know crackers float! Edit: any other white people jokes?

11. What do you call a Somalian with a bag of rice?

Set for life.

12. Creation of Woman

After God created Adam, Adam was lonely so he asked God to create a partner for him. Then God told him:"Very well Adam. I will do that but I will need one of your eyes, one of your hands, one of your legs and one of your testicles." Adam said"Oh well, that sounds too much. What can you get out of a rib?"

13. Why don't black kids celebrate Father's Day?

Cos they dad's still haven't returned from the cigarette shop...

14. How do you turn a Tyrone into a Tyrun?

I’m pregnant.

15. People reckon I'm too patronising.

(That means I treat them as if they're stupid.)

16. As a reputated member of the society I have always called out pedophiles and have thrown them out of here for the disgusting thing they like to call a fetish....

And also it's better to have less to no competition where you live

17. God created Eve because Adam was depressed.

Well that makes pussy the original Anti-depressent

18. I like my coffee how I like my coffee

Ground up and in my freezer.

19. Why can’t feminists do algebra?

They can’t understand both sides of the problem

20. Why was the white guy in a wheel chair?

He was wearing black pants when he got pulled over.

21. What did God think when he took back babies?

Felt cute might delete later.

22. You know what happened when steven hawking died

Windows.exe shutdown

23. What do black people smoke?

niggarettes

24. What is the best part about fucking a transvestite hooker?

Reaching around and pretending it all the way through.

25. What do you call an epileptic on a merry-go-round?

A Fidget Spinner.

26. What’s the difference between a gay man and a fridge ?

The fridge doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out of it

27. In the Coronavirus fight , China gives citizens a color code

In America , the Coronavirus caused liberals to go colorblind

28. Never trust an animal that is still alive after 5 days of bleeding

29. What’s the best thing about getting a blowjob from an Ethiopian?

You’re always guaranteed a swallow.

30. Cucumbers are really good for your memory...

My uncle shoved one up my ass when I was a kid & I've never forgotten about it.

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Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

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