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avatar twl_corinthian 20 day.agoAn ice fisherman cuts a hole in the ice to catch some fish.

When he puts his fishing line into the hole, he hears a loud voice say "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE THERE." So he gets up, moves a short distance away, cuts another hole in the ice, and lowers in his line. Once again he hears the loud voice say "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE THERE." So he gets up again, moves a little way, cuts another hole, and lowers in his line. The voice says, even louder, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE THERE EITHER." "Who *is* that?" the ice fisherman says, looking round. "Is that God?" "NO," says the voice, "THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK."

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Fat chicks shouldn't brag about big tits.

Having big tits because you're fat is like having a car that's fast because it's falling off a cliff.

2. A black man and arabic man are in a car,who is driving?

the police

3. What did the tampon say to the other tampon?

Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches

4. What do you call a French homosexual

A fagguette

5. My girlfriend broke up with me cause I stole her wheelchair

But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.

6. I said hi to a feminist...

Wish me luck, my court case starts tomorrow

7. What do black people and tornadoes have in common?

It takes only 1 to ruin a good neighbourhood

8. How do you gain a million followers?

Walk through Africa with a cup of water

9. I told a girl she had drawn her eyebrows on too high...

She looked surprised.

10. How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff??

They found her head and shoulders in the glove box

11. A Russian, a Cuban, an Englishman and a Pakistani are on a train.

The Russian takes out a bottle of his best vodka, drinks a bit and throws the rest off the train and says, "There's plenty more of that where I come from." Everyone is impressed. The Cuban takes out one of the finest Havana cigars, takes one puff and throws it off the train and says, "There's plenty more of those where I come from." Again everyone is rather impressed. So the Englishman stands up and throws the Pakistani off the train.

12. An Emo and a leaf fall from a tree, which one hits the ground first?

The leaf, the rope stopped the Emo.

13. You’re a hero when you donate a liver

But you’re on a FBI watchlist if you donate 26

14. A boy says to his dad, "Why do they say gardeners have...?

A boy says to his dad, "Why do they say gardeners have got green fingers when their fingers aren't green?" His dad replies, "It's just a saying, son. It's like when someone is caught stealing something, they say that they've been caught red-handed', even though their hands are actually black." ___ credit: r/sickipedia

15. A Frenchman takes his American girlfriend on a picnic

Before they start, the girl says, "Jacques, give me a kiss!" So he grabs the bottle of Merlot, pours some into her mouth, and exclaims, "When the French take red meat, we take it with red wine!" before giving her a long, deep kiss. They continue kissing, and get more and more passionate. After a while, the girl breaks away and says, "Jacques! Kiss me... lower." And so he kisses her down her neck and towards her bosom. As he reaches her breasts, he grabs the bottle of Chardonnay, pours it onto her breasts and exclaims, "When the French take white meat, we take it with white wine!" before licking and sucking on her breasts eagerly. After a while, the girl can no longer take it, and whispers into his ear, "Jacques, I want you to go... lower." And so he gradually lowers himself and pulls down her panties. As he nears her pussy, he grabs the bottle of whiskey, pours it over her pussy, and then grabs his lighter and sets her bush on fire, before exclaiming, "When the French go down, we go down in flames!".

16. The Coronavirus won't last long

It was made in China

17. Abdul the Indian wife beater punches his wife every night at 7pm...

On the dot.

18. Why do Chinese people have Chinese babies?

Because two Wongs don’t make a white

19. What does a brick and a 300LB white lady have in common?

Eventually they will both get laid by a Mexican.

20. How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone?

Put it into airplane mode

21. Racecar backwards is racecar

Racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died

22. Why are Americans so dumb?

Because they shoot the ones who go to school

23. Forgive Me Father

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned." Priest: "What have you done my child?" Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch." Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?" Girl: "Because he touched my hand." Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he touched my breast." Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father." Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where." Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where) Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!" Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "But father he had AIDS!" Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

24. Did you know that Princess Diana was on the phone when she died?

She was also on the dashboard, and the steering wheel, and the gear shift, and the windshield....

25. Why do Gorilla's always look like they are frowning?

Because in 10 million years they'll be niggers. -------------- Edit: [Source](http://www.sickipedia.net/j/Racism/Black/60064)

26. What do you say when you see your television floating at night?

‘’Drop it nigga’’

27. How is anal sex like your first car?

It may not be exactly what you wanted but that doesn't stop your Dad from giving it to you anyway.

28. My favorite sex position is the jfk

I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car

29. Is Google a man or a woman?

Obviously a woman because it won't let you finish your sentence without offering suggestions.

30. My girlfriend's dad accused me of being a pedophile just because she's 18 and I'm 32.

Really ruined our 10th anniversary.

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