richmondhill712 20 day.agoStephen Miller has a new plan to solve both immigration and hunger issues.The government will issue soylent green cards to all immigrants.
Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.
In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
On the TV, a suicidal man is on top of a building, threatening to jump. The blonde turns to the brunette and goes "I bet you 50 bucks he doesn't jump". Without hesitating, the brunette takes that bet and right after, sure enough, the man jumps. The blonde hands the brunette the 50 bucks, but the brunette replies, "I'm sorry, I feel bad, I can't take your money as I already saw this on the 5:00 news". The blonde replies back, "So did I - I just didn't think he would do it again".
Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.
I added Paul walker on Xbox, but he spends all his time on the dashboard.
- You ladies from Scotland? - It's Wales you asshole. - Ohh I'm sorry, you whales from Scotland?
Grandpa does the frog noises, then asks his grandson why he brought it up. "Because I heard mommy and daddy say that when you croak we can fuck off to Disneyland!"
"I'm not good with kids, I'm not going to lie. Hell, a couple of months ago I dropped my cousins baby... Flat out, dropped my cousins baby on the ground. I don't feel like that was my fault. I don't feel responsible for that one. I mean, who in their right mind asks me, Anthony Jeselnik, to be a pall bearer?"
Because the whole state is inbred.
I don't know. But it gathers cotton very fast.
Similar to the World Trade Center. There used to be 2 of them, but now it’s too sensitive of a subject to discuss.
It's because we are simply better at everything
Jews don't pay for anything.
So that they know what it's like to live with an irritable cunt.
His-panic attacks.
What is the favorite festival of an orphan child? NeverSEEa my parents
But they can say other things like "Hi, Dad" or "Thanks for the warning, officer"
You don't peel the crust off a pizza before you eat it
And an old trucker pulls over to give the hitcher a ride. After about 10 minutes of silence, the gender fluid person asks "Well, aren't you curious if I'm a boy or a girl?" And the old trucker says "Not really, I'm gunna fuck ya either way."
There's no steering wheel at the back of the bus
No chance of stopping an uppercut.
They could’ve used the wheels for a bike for a normal kid.
Steven Hawking in a house fire.
Tell her your wife wants abortion rights. Then tell her its because the baby is a girl.
One is on the cover of Playboy and the other is on the cover of National Geographic.
They couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.
Some of them are white.
“Every morning my husband and I pass each other in the hall and say, ‘Fuck you!’"
I didn't see the driver so I'm not going to assume what gender she was.
Everytime they get a corner they open a store
It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.
They only put their hands on one to twelve. (Probably been done before)
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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