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avatar Excellent_Regret4141 19 day.agoI recently redid my house, but the people who did it made it look like a cheap version of Las Vegas

Well that's what I get for hiring a RENOvation company

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What's the most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter?

A ginger with two friends.

2. What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable?

Mrs. Hawking

3. A black man sees a Chinese man throwing coins down some steps.

The black man asks, "What are you doing?" The Chinese man says, "Whenever I throw a coin down these steps, it tells me the name of my ancestor." He threw down a coin to show him. 'Chin Kong Chi.' "I'ma try this," The black man said as he swiped a coin from the Chinese man, "It better say my grandpa's name or i'ma beat yo ass." He threw a coin down the steps. 'Chim Pan Zee'

4. I called my son a bloody disappointment today & the gf burst out into tears.

Apparently, she's sensitive over her miscarriage

5. If I had a dollar for all the genders..

..I'd have 2$ and a couple of counterfeits

6. My wife and I like to do it missionary style...

We brainwash indigenous natives and rape their children...

7. Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

So nobody mistakes them for feminists.

8. The kids of Sandy Hook elementary school wanted books

But all they got were magazines

9. I accidentally said hello to a femnist...

Court trial starts tomorow :c

10. My dad is a cop; he says "We don't shoot black, unarmed teenagers for the fun of it"

"It's just a perk of the job"

11. A black man, an Arab and a ginger all jump off a cliff to see who hits the ground first. Who wins?

Society

12. Jesus said my faith can move mountains

So Mohammed said "My faith can move skyscrapers"

13. How do you say goodbye to 230,000 Indonesians?

A big wave.

14. Why is SpaceX going to Mars?

Because SpaceY already went to Uranus.

15. I asked a pretty, young, homeless woman if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile...

The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box...

16. A lawyer, a nigger, a Muslim, an illegal immigrant, a retard, and a Communist walk into a bar

The bartender asks "What will it be, Mr. President?"

17. I like my women how I like my towers.

As twins and quick to go down.

18. A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase...

He asks, "What are you doing?" She answers, "I'm moving to Chicago. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free." Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year."

19. A Muslim enters a building...

Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.

20. But your Honor, if you are what you eat

Then i'm really an innocent child

21. why are ethnic girls better at sex?

Because I don't understand when they say **no** or **stop**.

22. My wife suspects that after she gave birth, don't find her attractive anymore, and have been using a fleshlight to satisfy myself.

That's preposterous, I mean, who the hell needs a fleshlight when you have a newborn daughter?

23. I've spoken to hundreds of victims of sexual assault and there is one thing they all consistently say . . .

please let me go

24. I was watching porn last night when my grandmother walked in...

Not the best way to find out what she does for a living...

25. I know you shouldn't choose favorites out of your kids...

But only one of my daughters does anal, so it's really no contest.

26. According to my doctor, it would be best to my health to stay away from trans fats.

I'm really going to miss Tumblr.

27. A father has three daughters, Lily, Rose, and Piano.

Lily goes up to her dad and says, “dad, why did you name me Lily?” The dad responds, “because a lily fell on your head when you were born.” Rose goes up to her dad and says, “dad, why did you name me Rose? The dad responds, “because a rose fell on your head when you were born.” Piano goes up to her dad and says, “HADUHDABADAHU”

28. Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers

There used to be two of them and now it's a really sensitive subject.

29. What do you call a flamethrower during the Vietnam War?

A rice cooker

30. My wife knows the number to the battered women shelter

Like the back of my hand.

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