One man said, “I’ll take some H2O please”. The second man said “I’ll have some H2O, too”. The second man died.
Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.
In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
"If my mom was a hen and my dad was a chicken, I'd be a little chick. If my mom was a deer and my dad was a buck, I'd be a little deer. If my mom was a duck and my dad was a goose, I'd be a little duckling." The ~~bus~~ annoyed ~~bus~~ driver stops the bus and turns to the boy saying, "What if your mom was a drunk and your dad was a bum?" The boy responds, "Then I'd be a bus driver." **EDIT: busted for two too many buses!**
The press described it as an "Ice cream cone in your back-pocket law" because there were never any heterosexuals in California... California also recently legalized all forms of child molestation... The kids in California were very upset about this law... since those kids were all homosexuals, it turns out they were staunch proponents of their own molestation and themselves predatory child molesters. A unanimous majority from the California Supreme Court issued this Principle Opinion: "If a man molests a small child who is himself an unapologetic and predatory child molester, one must argue this grown man has been in the same right been sexually assaulted by the small child. To argue that one of the two child molesters involved did not enjoy and consent to the child molestation implies that this argument holds true with respect to the other, thus neither party consented to the act. As there is no precedent for mutual rape in which both involved individuals are charged with raping each other, we must concede that no crime has been committed."
It's a racial stereotype.
They would gas out so hard they'll die.
They like everything 50% off
Because the story of 72 virgins doesn't work on them.
A rabbi and priest run out, sweating. The priest asks, "What about the children?" The rabbi replies, "FUCK THE CHILDREN!!!" The priest stops for a bit and asks, "Do you think there's enough time?"
With an Ouija board
Nobody likes the dark ones
Not everybody gets it.
Good thing for him he was also born blind.
I keep telling her that the kids would probably prefer something like "Goldilocks and the Three Bears."
Apparently, the answer wasn't, "Ask Michael Jackson."
but didn't want to pay for an entire hat.
Because they can't accept change.
"Who's there?" "Michael J Fox"
then the son replies: mom I'm blind and mom says: exactly
Burn a body at the crematorium, you're being a, "respectful friend." However, do it at home and you're, "destroying evidence."
Take a look at their women’s rights,these are fucking jokes
Every time I ask for some they only give me a spoonful
Never mind, you probably won’t get it
Because women are objects
They both fall down when you hit them with an axe
I installed the French version.
And one left
r/thefairersex
Steven Hawkins in a house fire
A cure for stut stut stut stu stu st st st.... screw it, the cold!
A wet fart
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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