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avatar arseflare 18 day.agoI asked my wife why she married me. She said "Because you're so funny & make me laugh so much"

I told her I thought it was because I was so good-looking and charming. She replied, "See? you're hilarious"

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What do black people smoke?

niggarettes

2. What is the best part about fucking a transvestite hooker?

Reaching around and pretending it all the way through.

3. What do you call an epileptic on a merry-go-round?

A Fidget Spinner.

4. What’s the difference between a gay man and a fridge ?

The fridge doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out of it

5. In the Coronavirus fight , China gives citizens a color code

In America , the Coronavirus caused liberals to go colorblind

6. Never trust an animal that is still alive after 5 days of bleeding

7. What’s the best thing about getting a blowjob from an Ethiopian?

You’re always guaranteed a swallow.

8. Cucumbers are really good for your memory...

My uncle shoved one up my ass when I was a kid & I've never forgotten about it.

9. I went to a Chinese restaurant and the food was so undercooked...

it started purring.

10. I like my women how i like my pigs

Never mind i forgot that those are the same thing

11. Cops aren't to jail for killing blacks.

They're going to jail for killing blacks ON CAMERA. Gotta be smarter guys!

12. I have found the perfect solution for the cops who murder blacks

Just report them to PETA for animal abuse

13. I suppose billiards will be targeted next

seeing as the whole game is about the white ball dominating the coloureds...

14. Im so glad my dad gave me the talk and showed me how to put on a condom at an early age

Could have made it a little less awkward if he showed it on a banana, though.

15. What pleases 9 out of 10 people?

Gang Rape

16. Three K’s a day keeps the minority’s away

17. Horse tile

**Reporter**: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" **Man**: "Yes!" **Reporter**: "Name?" **Man**: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." **Reporter**: "Sex?" **Man**: "Three to five times a week." **Reporter**: "No no! I mean male or female?" **Man**: "Yes, male, female… sometimes camel." **Reporter**: "Holy cow!" **Man**: "Yes, cow, sheep… animals in general." **Reporter**: "But isn’t that hostile?" **Man**: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." **Reporter**: "Oh dear!" **Man**: “No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch.”

18. Say what you want about pedophiles but at least they drive through school zones slower...

19. Why doesn't santa Claus have any children?

He only comes once a year and it's down a chimney

20. What do you say to a stroke survivor?

Looks like you had a stroke of luck

21. Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?

Because anyone who can run jump and swim is already in the USA.

22. Protesters have broken in to the government building in Hong Kong.

They found a few Chinks in security.

23. Why does black lives matter more in the past?

Nothing is cheaper than good ol free slave labor for your fields

24. I can never cheat on my girlfriend

That’s why I cheat on my wife.

25. A preschool class is going over animal noises

The teacher asks "so what does the doggy say"? Katie replies "woof" "That's right," says the teacher, "And what does the cow say?" "Moo" says Jonathan "Very good. Now what does the piggy say?" Jamal says "freeze nigga put yo hands up!"

26. How do you make a Jew go everywhere?

Turn on the fan.

27. Blonde Joke.

Jake returns home after a long days work, finds the cupboards bare and thinks "that's strange we went shopping this week". He goes to the garbage can to find jars of peanut butter, yogurt, pill bottles, assorted food they've just bought discarded. He asks "Honey why is all the food in the garbage?" he finds her watching TV in the living room she says "Roger is dead", stunned he runs to the backyard to find their pet seal dead. He runs inside shocked and says "wow that's terrible, but why did you throw out all the food?!" she replies "They containers all said DO NOT USE IF SEAL IS BROKEN".

28. How many femenists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ha, that's a silly question, feminists can't change anything

29. I nearly panicked when I couldn't find my Jordan jersey today.

I almost lost Michael. ​ edit: Sorry, my dyslexic cunt of a son just hacked into my account

30. What do you say to a cooked newborn baby?

It was born ready.

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