arseflare 18 day.agoI asked my wife why she married me. She said "Because you're so funny & make me laugh so much"I told her I thought it was because I was so good-looking and charming. She replied, "See? you're hilarious"
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
niggarettes
Reaching around and pretending it all the way through.
A Fidget Spinner.
The fridge doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out of it
In America , the Coronavirus caused liberals to go colorblind
You’re always guaranteed a swallow.
My uncle shoved one up my ass when I was a kid & I've never forgotten about it.
it started purring.
Never mind i forgot that those are the same thing
They're going to jail for killing blacks ON CAMERA. Gotta be smarter guys!
Just report them to PETA for animal abuse
seeing as the whole game is about the white ball dominating the coloureds...
Could have made it a little less awkward if he showed it on a banana, though.
Gang Rape
**Reporter**: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" **Man**: "Yes!" **Reporter**: "Name?" **Man**: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." **Reporter**: "Sex?" **Man**: "Three to five times a week." **Reporter**: "No no! I mean male or female?" **Man**: "Yes, male, female… sometimes camel." **Reporter**: "Holy cow!" **Man**: "Yes, cow, sheep… animals in general." **Reporter**: "But isn’t that hostile?" **Man**: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." **Reporter**: "Oh dear!" **Man**: “No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch.”
He only comes once a year and it's down a chimney
Looks like you had a stroke of luck
Because anyone who can run jump and swim is already in the USA.
They found a few Chinks in security.
Nothing is cheaper than good ol free slave labor for your fields
That’s why I cheat on my wife.
The teacher asks "so what does the doggy say"? Katie replies "woof" "That's right," says the teacher, "And what does the cow say?" "Moo" says Jonathan "Very good. Now what does the piggy say?" Jamal says "freeze nigga put yo hands up!"
Turn on the fan.
Jake returns home after a long days work, finds the cupboards bare and thinks "that's strange we went shopping this week". He goes to the garbage can to find jars of peanut butter, yogurt, pill bottles, assorted food they've just bought discarded. He asks "Honey why is all the food in the garbage?" he finds her watching TV in the living room she says "Roger is dead", stunned he runs to the backyard to find their pet seal dead. He runs inside shocked and says "wow that's terrible, but why did you throw out all the food?!" she replies "They containers all said DO NOT USE IF SEAL IS BROKEN".
Ha, that's a silly question, feminists can't change anything
I almost lost Michael. ​ edit: Sorry, my dyslexic cunt of a son just hacked into my account
It was born ready.
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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