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avatar NYY15TM 14 day.agoA lady walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre

So he gives it to her

Walks into a bar
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25
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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Who won the neck decorating contest?

It was a tie

2. What’s a sharks favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish…

3. What do you call a shop that sells disgusting fruit and vegetables?

A grossery.

4. My kids were pretending to be the national symbol of Canada.

They’re just playing maple leaf.

5. I was running a chicken dating website, but I had to close it down…

I was struggling to make hens meet.

6. Why should you always take your plastic surgeon to the gym before going under the knife?

To check their form when they do a face-lift.

7. What's the difference between being hungry and horney?

The place where you stick the cucumber

8. What's a cat's favorite color?

Purrgundy. I'm so sorry... I'll leave and never return...

9. I started investing in stocks

Beef, chicken, and vegetable. Someday soon I hope to be a bouillonaire.

10. Went to Easter Mass and the Catholic Priest got smoke on me.

I was incensed.

11. Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy walk into a bar

Bartender says, "Hi, Mom." (Woke up in the middle of the night with this in my head for no discernable reason.)

12. Joseph of Arimathea gave his personal, expensive and hand hewn tomb for Jesus burial. All his friends were astonished and asked why he would do this.

Joseph replied "He said he was only using it for the weekend."

13. I went for a walk today and I saw no people. I passed a slice of apple pie, a hot fudge sundae, and a piece of cheesecake.

The streets were strangely desserted.

14. Why should you always knock before opening the fridge door?

In case there's a salad dressing

15. I started drinking protein shakes and my wife says I look fat now

I guess I drink whey too much

16. I could tell you a pizza joke…

But it would probably be cheesy

17. How do you lure a pervert? (NSFW)

Just add the NSFW tag.

18. What does an Italian need when he says his joints are hurting?

An olive oil change..

19. What is a witch’s favorite shape?

HEXagon

20. It would be cool if I could 3-D print a copy of my own face

But I'm getting a head of myself

21. how long should you cook little mexican dogs for?

chihuahuas

22. How come they call it "living in the Arctic"...

...and not "ice-olation"?

23. Why do dogs stop and sniff every lamppost and bush they pass on their walk?

They are checking their pee-mail. My dad’s original dad joke. RIP Papa.

24. I just got attacked by a group of mimes

They did unspeakable things to me

25. Whats the difference between pink and purple?

The strength of the grip

26. I went cow tipping the other day.

They appreciated the extra cash.

27. I was so proud of my daughter today

I was repairing a gate under the watchful eyes of our two Great Pyrenees and she said, “you realize you’re undergoing a Pyr review.”

28. Not everyone knows Shakespeare invented a vehicle fueled by chickens...

It was poultry in motion...

29. I can’t concentrate for long enough to properly draw an ellipse.

I always seem to lose focus.

30. What smells like rotten carrots?

Bunny farts. Happy Easter

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Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

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