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avatar SmegB 11 day.agoWhy can’t the English play chess?

Because they’ve lost their queen Why can’t Americans play chess? Because they lost their 2 towers.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Did you know it's a felony to build and sell a broken grandfather clock?

If you can't do the time, don't do the chime.

2. When does a dad joke become nsfw?

When it’s “bring your kid to work day”

3. If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims

4. Why were they sad when the Dean of the Clown College retired?

He left Big Shoes to fill.

5. I had a finger amputated today. I asked my doctor if I could still write with that hand...

He said, "Well, I wouldn't count on it".

6. what do u call a boat underwater made of brushes?....

a scrubmarine!

7. It's very inappropriate to tell a dad joke when you're not a dad.

It's a faux pa!

8. So a guy goes to the hospital and says doctor help me I’m shrinking

And the doctor says “now now, you’re just going to have to be a little patient”

9. What sort of car does a tax cheat drive?

A Dodge

10. A woman at work accused me of being attracted to sheep.

I said “that explains why I have a crush on ewe.”

11. What do you call a vegitable who knows kung-fu?

Broco-Lee

12. The bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

13. The internet connection at my dad's farm was really spotty, so I moved the router to the horse barn

Now he has stable WiFi

14. I accidentally called my iPhone’s smart assistant “surely” instead of siri.

Now my phone is stuck on airplane mode.

15. In computer class, I programmed a new spell check software. I think i did pretty good…

Considering it was my first 4 A into programming

16. What does a cat say when it hurts itself?

Me- Owww

17. My wife said she thinks she has an eating disorder. I said, so do I,

Im always “eating disorder, eating dat order”

18. Dads with high blood pressure who are watching their sodium intake should avoid what fish at all times?

2 Na, of course.

19. Dad jokes should always be kid-friendly

Last time I told one, three little goats laughed so hard they fell off a bridge

20. [getting arrested for impersonating a priest]

I KNOW MY RITES!!

21. Why doesn't it hurt if someone throws a can of Coke at your head?

Because it's a soft drink.

22. What did the Romans build over top the Forum?!?

The Fivum.

23. Now that the Pope has passed away, what happens next?

A new one popes up.

24. How does a Sleeping Dragon know he snores?

The smoke alarm wakes him

25. I went to the gym.

They gave me a punch card!

26. I have abandonment issues thanks to my cannibal ex-girlfriend.

Probably from all the times she desserted me.

27. My daughter finally started looking for a job. I told her there's an entry level job that people are dying to get into and you start with 3000 people beneath you.

Working at the graveyard isn't for everyone though!

28. How do diamonds get to know other diamonds better?

Carbon Dating!

29. Original joke from my 8 yr old boy

If there was a soccer game between humans and bugs, the humans would crush it.

30. How did the dog get all A's on its report card?

It was the teacher's pet.

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Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

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