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avatar Boot_Effective 10 day.agoThe dentist was attending a party.

As the host was introducing him to some guests one of them came up close and says, "I'm glad to meet you doctor. I've been having a problem with this tooth and need advice" while waggling a loose tooth close to the dentist's face. The host quickly leads the guest away making an excuse for the dentist. Later, he comes back apologising profusely for his I'll mannered guest. "That's alright," the dentist replies, "but sometimes I thank God I'm not a proctologist."

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. White people don't shoot other people in the streets like black people do.

We shoot them in school, because we have class.

2. Gays in syria

[removed]

3. I don't know why we bother telling suicidal people to "get help."

Buying rope isn't that fucking difficult.

4. Caitlin Jenner has been arrested

Apparently she was offering 2 year old pussy on Tinder.

5. A man runs over a woman, whose fault is it?

The man's because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen

6. Say what you will about pedophiles

But at least they drive through school zones slower

7. I was telling my friend that I pulled a girl off the railway lines last night just before a train arrived then had wonderful sex with her, my friend said did she give you head? I replied.

Couldn't find her head..

8. I don't understand.. Why can't someone just wake Avicii up?

It's all over.

9. A charity worker stopped me in the street and asked if I fancied taking part in a marathon. I was going to decline, but when he told me it was for disabled kids and children with severe learning difficulties...

I thought, fuck me, I might win this.

10. How does a black woman know she's pregnant?

When she takes her tampon out and the cotton is picked off.

11. Who are the 3 most underground rappers?

XXXTENTACION, Juice Wrld, and Mac Miller

12. I support LGBTQ

Let's Go Bully The Queers

13. I once organized a parent meeting at the school I worked at. That made a lot of people very angry.

Apparently, orphans don't have a sense of humor.

14. In my spare time I often go to court hearings about rapes.

If the guy turns out to be innocent, I follow the girl home and rape her. Nobody is going to believe her anyway.

15. My girlfriend's parents called me a pedophile because I'm 30 and she's 18.

It really kind of spoiled our 10th anniversary dinner.

16. What's 9 inches long, pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage.

17. My new gf is black and I couldn't be happier!

My wife is white and it's hard to hide all the bruises

18. Where do epileptic children go to eat?

Little Seizures.

19. What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?

Going to an Oregon community college

20. My girlfriend told me she wanted to be treated like a princess

So I put her in the back of a Mercedes and drove into a wall

21. Black guys are watching Black Panther twice in one week

But haven't seen their kids in over a year. Wakanda father are you?

22. What did my first football game and losing my virginity have in common?

I was bloody and sore afterwards, but at least my dad came.

23. I was once having sex with my German girlfriend

For some reason she kept yelling out her age

24. Where does a person with epilepsy order pizzas?

Little Seizures

25. My mother in law has a massive case of diarrhea...

She wont find out until she gets home and unpacks her luggage...

26. What do rednecks do on Halloween?

Pump kin

27. I was going to make fun of that homosexual that killed himself with a rope

But that's just low hanging fruit

28. All of these jokes are so dark...

I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.

29. I'm not a racist

I like black people just as much as normal people

30. 3 Gay Guys

There were three gay men and their partners all died at around the same time. On their way to the morgue, the guy who worked there asked them where they want to spread their partners ashes. The first gay guy says, "I want to spread his ashes over the ocean because he loved to swim!" The second gay guy says, "I want to spread his ashes on a mountain because he loved to climb." And then the third gay guy says, "I want to spread him all over my chili." Confused, the coroner asked, "WHY?" In which the third gay guy responded, "So he can tear my ass up one more time."

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