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avatar NearsSuccessor 8 day.agoHa ha hee hee ho ho

I saw a homeless woman on the street when I was walking home one day with my friend I said to my friend, "God! I just wish I could take her home!" I guess I said it a little too loudly, because she walked over and said, smiling, "Excuse me, but I overheard you and... Yes, you can." Now, her expression quickly changed when she saw me dismantling her tent.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Now that the Pope has passed away, what happens next?

A new one popes up.

2. How does a Sleeping Dragon know he snores?

The smoke alarm wakes him

3. I went to the gym.

They gave me a punch card!

4. I have abandonment issues thanks to my cannibal ex-girlfriend.

Probably from all the times she desserted me.

5. My daughter finally started looking for a job. I told her there's an entry level job that people are dying to get into and you start with 3000 people beneath you.

Working at the graveyard isn't for everyone though!

6. How do diamonds get to know other diamonds better?

Carbon Dating!

7. Original joke from my 8 yr old boy

If there was a soccer game between humans and bugs, the humans would crush it.

8. How did the dog get all A's on its report card?

It was the teacher's pet.

9. I've never been a fan of facial hair.

But now it's starting to grow on me.

10. Hobbits are a branch of the human race, but I think they have some similarities to plants.

That's why they can perform Frodo synthesis.

11. There was a full house at the cinema when there was a sudden power cut.

A man with a foreign accent walked up to the front of the theatre and announced in a loud voice "Everybody please raise your hands!", over and over. People wondered what was going on but some of them decided to humor him and started raising their hands, then some more, then some more, until eventually almost everyone in the cinema had their hands raised. Suddenly power was restored and the movie continued. The patron in the seat next to him asked him "how did you do that?". He replied "As we say in my country, many hands make light work".

12. What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?

A chicken tender.

13. I told my plants I needed some space…

now they won’t leaf me alone.

14. What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper?

FIZZician!

15. A typo walks into a bear.

There was Type-O splattered everywhere.

16. I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg.

He said "have to love Easter, baby"

17. How many ants do you need to become a landlord?

Ten. You need ten ants.

18. I wrote a book on how to fall down the stairs...

It's a step by step guide

19. What do you call a Cow that fasts during Ramadan?

Mooslim

20. I would love to tell you about Life before the Big Bang

But unfortunately there's no Time!

21. What type of jewelry does the headless horseman wear?

A neckless.

22. Why did the golfer wear to pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one

23. What happens when a battery leaves the hospital?

It gets discharged. 🙂‍↕️

24. The best puns…

… are when your kids have had enough and skip the rolling of eyes altogether. They go from Dad joke to Dad choke in zero point to the door seconds.

25. The shovel was ground breaking.

But the broom is what swept the nation.

26. A photon goes to the airport. The ticket agent asks if there's any luggage to check.

The photon replies, “No, I'm traveling light.”

27. I was looking for Regulus in Leo…

But I came up Chort.

28. Original one from my 8 yr old boy

What’s a frog’s favorite band - The Beatles

29. At dinner, my date asked if I spoke any other languages. I said, “Yeah, I know ASL.” She lit up—“Oh wow, can you teach me??” I said, “Sure, it’s super easy!”

Then I signed the letters ‘A’ ‘S’ ‘L’

30. How do you keep a redditor in suspense?

I'll tell ya tomorrow!

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