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avatar Zur__En__Arrh 8 day.agoWhich car brand is suitable for driving underwater?

Scubaru

12
7
Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What's A Similarity between a Crow and a Person?

They get pissed if you touch their children

2. A Jewish guy with a boner walked into a wall...

...and broke his nose.

3. Have yall ever had Ethiopian Food?

Neither have they

4. What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese!

5. What sort of energy source do Japanese people never use?

Nuclear fusion.

6. What's the difference between a gun and a black person?

You need a licence to shoot a gun.

7. So a squirrel and a bear find a lantern in the forest

One of them rubs it and poof, there was a genie. He said that each one of them has 3 wishes, de the bear goes first and says:” make every female bear in this forest fall in love with me, with a click of his finger and boom every female bear fell in love with him. Then the squirrel goes:” I would like some walnuts!” With another click of his finger and the squirrel had some walnuts, the bear suddenly said:”walnuts? You could have whatever you want and you chose walnuts?” When it came to there other wish the bear said:”now make every female bear in this city fall in love with me” and boom he had his wish granted. For the squirrel he said he would like some nuts, the bear replied: “I swear you’re dumb you could’ve chosen money fame or even women and you choose nuts?” For their 3rd wish the bear said:” I would like every female bear in this world to fall in love with me” and that wish also was granted. When it came to the squirrels last wish the squirrel said in a Loud voice:” now I want this mother f*cker to be gay

8. I tthink that KimJongUndead hashtag worked both ways.

9. What did the god say when he saw the first black guy ?

Oops i burnt one

10. What Do You Call a Vegetarian with Diarrhea?

A Smoothie Maker

11. What do you call a cripple at a party?

The piñata!

12. What do you call a gay Italian Mob Boss?

Gay!?!? FAGet-about it

13. What's the worst part of a masochistic wife?

It's not fun beating her if she's into it and not in pain.

14. Clumps of my wife's hair are CONSTANTLY clogging the shower drain. Although it's infuriating, I have to remember it's really not her fault...

..all the blame goes to the lazyass cancer who couldn't finish the fucking job before the chemotherapy started.

15. What's the difference between a PowerPoint presentation and an African kid?

One has AV aids, the other HIV aids.

16. What do you do with a drowning Pakistani ?

Throw the wife and kids in

17. What's a famous quote that describes pedophilia?

Good things come in small packages.

18. What do you call a cripple on a camping trip?

Kindling

19. Two wives are having coffee

Wife 2: Where's Billy, your handicapped husband? Wife 1: Damn-it, I think I left him in the shower. Wife 2: You showered him today? That's not like you. Wife 1: Oh no, sweetie. We had to throw out our bath mat, so I stood on him during my shower; cheaper than a new mat.

20. How do you separate man from monkey?

Via the equator.

21. To people who say "There were helicopters shooting at people in the Las Vegas shooting, so there were multiple shooters" don't understand common sense

Steven Paddock got a 7 kill streak, and this deployed an attack helicopter. The second helicopter came after he got a 9 kills. You should be grateful he just wanted to shoot people didn't use the Tactical Nuke after he got 25 kills. People talking about conspiracy theories clearly don't understand how kill-streaks work. It was only one guy, he just got the choppers from kill streak rewards.

22. As my wife and three of her friends squeezed into the car after Weight Watchers, I muttered under my breath, "Fat cows."

"What was that?" snapped my wife. "You herd."

23. What's the similarity between a heist in Payday 2 and a burglary?

Shadow Raid.

24. What do you call 100 dead cripples?

A good start.

25. How is Princess Diana like a cell phone?

They die in tunnels.

26. joke

don't expect the coronavirus to last it was made in china

27. A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says

"Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared." The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.

28. Muslims have quite the explosive sense of humor.

29. Why did the lifeguard let the hippy drown?

He was too far out man ✌🏽

30. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home

She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box

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Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

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