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avatar oxgillette 7 day.agoI want to write a mystery novel

Or do I?

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. When I travel, I always keep my drugs inside a little tub.

No customs officer is going to anal cavity search a fat eight year old boy.

2. Stephen Hawking was arrested for faking his death.

He's just been charged.

3. What do you call an Arab dairy farmer?

A milk sheik.

4. I’ve got a nose like a Frenchman.

It won’t stop running.

5. Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar

“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”

6. It really annoys me when people take the piss out of my retarded midget girlfriend.

It's not big and it's not clever.

7. I went out to a restaurant last night and I ordered the chef's special.

He sent out his spastic son to dribble into my soup.

8. Dieting is really easy

As long as you're poor

9. What’s a cancer patients favourite coffee?

Cappuchemo

10. How does a Slovene escort get the "Einstein" visa to the USA?

Misspell "Epstein."

11. How do you call a zoophile after lighting him/her up?

Furry in a hurry.

12. Wives are like grenades.

Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!

13. Why do riot police get up early?

So they can beat the crowds

14. Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?

She didn’t see anything wrong with it.

15. Why are orphans bad at poker?

They don’t know what a full house is.

16. A Mexican, a black and a Jew walk into an Irish bar

The bartender says, "Get the fuck out!"

17. In a recent interview David Gilmour was asked if he ever understood why the album 'Ummagumma' was so popular with the disabled community, especially the downs syndrome and spastic teenagers at the time.

"I think it's because they could actually ask for it themselves," he answered.

18. Why is everybody in this subreddit downvoting the "Nice" replies?

I mean what part of MEANjokes don't you get?

19. what do you call a black person in space?

a space chimp.

20. What’s the difference between a woman and a phone?

You can’t use a phone when it’s dead

21. What's the difference between a pregnant woman and I light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb

22. When you see a deaf couple holding hands, maybe it's not romantic.

Maybe they just want each other to shut up.

23. Why did the Jew cross the road

Because their was a gust of wind

24. Why was hitler so good at killing Jews

He threw money in the chamber’s

25. How do you stop a black guy from drowning?

Take your knee off the back of his neck

26. What do Asians call their pet?.

Snacky

27. Playing Kobe on NBA 2k

Hopefully it doesn’t crash on me

28. I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet.

I thought it would be a piece of cake!

29. Someone made a post offending handicapped people, but I didn’t reply.

The comments were disabled.

30. What's the difference between men and horses?

Horses give you a better ride.

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Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

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