Healthy_Ladder_6198 7 day.agoBack in the glory days of the Roman Republic they had six Vestal Virgins who served the goddess Vesta.One year several of them died of a plague, and it was essential that the number be brought back up to 6 so the various rites could be performed lest the Republic fall. Once the plague was over riders were sent to the four directions of the wind plus two to find replacements who had been born at the same moment the previous vestal virgins had died. When the riders returned they found they’d had brought back one too many. The recruits drew straws and the one with the short straw was free to go her way. But now here she was hundreds of miles—sorry, thousands of stadia—from home, with nothing to do. Being an enterprising young thing she started an olive oil company and grew it into the largest woman-owned business in the whole Republic. She sold only first-pressed, cold-pressed oil. People loved it and she named her company “Extra Virgin Olive Oil."
Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.
In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
I need something really fucking mean for my family. I don’t care what it is but I need suggestions
..... I call them niggers. After all, they are actually black, unlike Africans who are technically brown. Gnat lives don’t matter. I’m prejudiced against mosquitoes.
If you were forced to have it when you were young, chances are that you probably won’t like it when your older.
the death of a gorilla causing nationwide backlash
But you've probably heard it, like, 6 million times already
The blind kid didn’t know what hit him
...about an hour after giving birth, a doctor enters her room and says "you've given birth to a baby boy, but I'm afraid I have some good news and i have some bad news" Fearing the worst has happened, the woman frantically replies "oh god, just give me the bad news first doctor, straight up!" The doctor says "well...its your babies hair...it's ginger!" The woman breathes a sigh of relief and says "is that all?...so what's the good news?" And the doctor says "he's dead!"
You Can't Milk a Cow For over 150 Years
Poor fellow died in new
The day when slavery by British ended in America.
I had to eat both of them as a child.
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Some random guy came up to me today and said that I’m the last signature needed to sign off woman’s rights. On another note I practiced my signature today.
D works best, but whatever you do, don't use A Minor.
He was the ball
That just goes to show...it takes balls to rape somebody
Being elected President of the United States.
Unfortunately Pocohantas AR was already taken
Not wanting to disturb him, I crept over and put a Starbucks coffee cup on top of his box. He immediately woke up and said, "Thank you." "No problem." I smiled. He looked at me again and said, "It's empty." I said, "I know, it's meant to be a chimney."
Just like the father, it just randomly disappeared.
...and he told Miss Polly her dolly has terminal cancer
When you pull them out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Gluc gluc gluc gluc
if the rubber breaks, your pretty much screwed
You would too if your name was “EEEEUUUURGHHHHHH”
Jackson jacks off
Michael Jackson
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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