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avatar arc-ion 6 day.agoThe best puns…

… are when your kids have had enough and skip the rolling of eyes altogether. They go from Dad joke to Dad choke in zero point to the door seconds.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. After years of teasing my girlfriend about her anorexia,

she finally snapped.

2. What does Kim Kardashian's ass and the ocean have in common?

They’re both mostly plastic.

3. When Chuck Norris attends a feminist rally,

he comes back with his shirt ironed.

4. What do you call a phone call from your grandpa?

Boomerang

5. What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to a tree?

One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

6. I don't know why women say fuck you to men.

Most men want that only, why would you threaten someone by giving them something that they want.

7. whatsapp group chat reboot.anything goes (dont be a bitch)

https://chat.whatsapp.com/FPNFkjuMG8u3EcJS2DDZcy

8. My Jewish girlfriend got fired from her job because she was always getting distracted.

So I sent her to a concentration camp.

9. What do you call a group of black women?

A farmer's toolshed. (If you didn’t get it it’s because they’re hoes)

10. It’s a shame automatic rifles are banned

Now I have to pull the trigger every time I see a kid.

11. What do Californian feminists and Middle-eastern feminists have in common?

They both get stoned.

12. What’s the difference between pizza and Jews?

Pizza didn’t do 9/11

13. What does a baby look like when you hit it with a lawn mower?

I dont know-i close my eyes when I cum

14. How do you kill a Briton?

Poison his tea and hide the antidote in a tube of toothpaste.

15. Why are priests called Father?

Because it's too suspicious to call them Daddy.

16. Whats the difference between Santa clause and a jew?

Santa goes DOWN the chimney

17. Grammar.

The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

18. What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead negro in the road?

The dead dog has skid marks in front of it

19. Disappointment

running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose first

20. Talk dirty to me

I'm gonna get you wetter than a spastics chin

21. Why are most North Koreans left handed?

Because they have no rights.

22. I was having rough sex with my German girlfriend

For some reason she kept screaming her age instead of the correct safeword

23. What’s the difference between you and me?

I am not a meth head.

24. I thought of making a groping joke

In the end I didn’t. It’s a touchy subject

25. A Chinese man was eating some eggroll, but was short the equivalent of one cent.

He said, “I'll give you my girl! Hopefully that will be enough to cover it!” The restaurant got him arrested anyway since girls are worthless in China.

26. What kind of punch can kill 6 adults and 20 children?

A Sandy Hook.

27. What’s in a seven-course meal in Ireland?

A six-pack of beer and a potato.

28. An obese women told me a joke.

I didn't laugh but the floor was cracking up

29. What do you call a black astronaut?

Coon on the moon

30. What do you call kids outside of a school zone?

Speed bumps

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Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

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