Madame: Well we do have a girl with a glass eye...she takes it out a let's you fuck her in the eye socket John: OMG that's crazy, I'll have to give it a try 15 minutes later John: That was amazing, I would never have thought of something like that in a million years. I'll definitely be back Madame: Okay, I will tell her to keep an eye out for you
Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.
In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Black people would rob me.
She slept in our daughter's room.
That's just mean...
Flashbacks.
“Usually an overdose.”
Now you have to play in the NFL :(
A zoophile, a sadist, a murderer, a necrophile, a pyromaniac and a masochist are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution, bored out of their minds. "How about having sex with a cat?" asks the zoophile. "Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, and then kill it," shouts the murderer. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then fuck it again," says the necrophile. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, fuck it again and then burn it," says the pyromaniac. Silence took over, and then the masochist says: "Meow."
I might be a retard, but at least I’m not fucking one.
So I created an account with the name Coathanger and poked it.
LGBBQ
As a jpeg. _______________ Please take a look at r/sickipedia if you found this joke sick enough.
But I keep seeing less and less of her.
Black people worked 60 years for their masters.
The Arab clearly impressed by this drinks down his beer quickly, tosses his glass in the air pulls out his AK-47 blows it to pieces and says, "Where I come from, we have so much sand to make glasses we don't have to drink from the same one twice either!" The Redneck, cool as a cucumber, chugs down his beer, tosses his glass in the air pulls out his .45 and shoots the Mexican and the Arab, catches the glass and asks for a refill and says, "In America, we have so many illegal aliens we don't have to drink with the same ones twice."
Optimistic.
I guess they were intended for a younger audience.
"I want my land back"
They did unspeakable things to her.
Girls hate football
I don't know what scared him worse, that I was naked, or I knew where he lived.
If you happen to visit the church regularly, you'll probably lose it before you're 14.
unfortunately, he believes actions speak louder than words.
They ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plane
Anyway, long story short, I'm now saving a fortune on bacon.
Show her a used tampon and ask what period it's from. Wakka wakka!
"If you ever come close to me, I'll fucking skin you alive. When we're sleeping, you don't fucking touch me. You hear me? Don't ever talk to me, either." "Fucking great." I thought, "First day in here and I'm already married."
... When i saw a black man walking with a new looking bicycle. I thought sh*t that looks like the one i own. So i ran to my house as fast as i could. Luckily mine was still in the cellar cleaning my boots.
There is a man going for a stroll through the woods one day, enjoying the outdoors. In the distance, he hears the soft sobbing of a child. He follows it, the cries getting louder. As he approaches the source of the sobs, he sees a dead man and a woman lying on the ground, the cold in between the two hysterically crying. "Lilly boy, little boy, my god what happened!" Choking back tears, the child went on to explain what happened. "Mom... Mommy and da-daddy started arguing and and... " The man kneeled down on one knee, placing his hand on his shoulder. "It's OK son, let it out." "Mommy slapped daddy and daddy got mad so daddy shot mommy and kept yelling at her about how it was all her fault and he's going to... To.. He was going to make sure it never happend again." He was clearly traumatized, but the man let him finish. "daddy pulled out his gun and... And shot mommy. Then he.... He screamed and threw it. He was crying a lot.... I shot daddy. He got up and said this was all my fault. I shot him again until he stopped moving. Then... Then I heard mommy. She said she loved me.... Then she stopped moving." He was still crying, harder then ever. The man stood up, took a step back. "Do you still have the gun little boy?" The boy shook his head, and pointed over towards a tree. The man retrieved the gun, and walked back towards the boy. "Christ kid.... " he said, unzipping his fly, "this is not your fucking day."
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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