barewear2267 1 day.agoIf two wrongs don't make a right what does two rights make?The opposite direction
Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.
In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
...old fashioned and slightly deaf grandfather. "She's Annika," I said. "Yes, I can see that," he replied. ______________ Credits: r/sickipedia
Last night I accidentally fucked my wife.
They kill your dog.
Your tie.
Having to go in and ask for a coat hanger
...white, skinny, and kept in line with a credit card.
Well, you know what happened the last time they had a Fat Man in Japan...
Guilty
I pull out of my driveway.
A majority of the jokes on this subreddit.
An auction.
As he lay in my arms, I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, "That's not how you spell criticism."
They're sending us their finest vegetables.
They don't fucking listen.
Although most people think wine, he's fine with anything as long as he can get hammered.
Because the last one to have a dream got shot
Apparently "That depends on the girth" was not the right answer.
Because atomic bombs are really bright.
You get a sandwich maker and a punching bag all in one.
One day the daughter prostitute comes home. "I just got $40 for a blowjob!" she says. "Thats ridiculous!" says the mother whore, "back in my day I only got $20 dollars for a blowjob!" The grandmother hooker pipes up and says "$20?! back in my day we were just glad to get something warm in our stomachs!"
Within a few minutes an airplane was about to crash. There were four passengers on board, but only three parachutes. The first passenger : I am Russel Westbrook, the best basketball player. The Oklahoma city and my millions of fans need me, so I can’t afford to die. He took the first pack and jumped out of the plane. The second passenger, Donald Trump : I am the newly-elected U.S. President, and I am the smartest president in American history, so my people don’t want me to die. He took the second pack and jumped out of the plane as well. The third passenger, the Pope, said to the fourth passenger, a 10 year-old schoolboy : My son, I am old and I don’t have very many years left, you have plenty of years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute. The little boy : That’s okay, Your Holiness, there’s a parachute left for you. America’s smartest president took my schoolbag.
I really don't know, because there's different ways to look at it: - Optimism: The glass is half full. - Pessimism: The glass is half empty. - Feminism: The glass is raping me.
But not me, I live next to two really hot ten year old's.
You don't need to come out to your father.
They both serve battered clams.
too close to the gas chamber
Because their favorite part is when the hooker returns the money.
On the TV, a suicidal man is on top of a building, threatening to jump. The blonde turns to the brunette and goes "I bet you 50 bucks he doesn't jump". Without hesitating, the brunette takes that bet and right after, sure enough, the man jumps. The blonde hands the brunette the 50 bucks, but the brunette replies, "I'm sorry, I feel bad, I can't take your money as I already saw this on the 5:00 news". The blonde replies back, "So did I - I just didn't think he would do it again".
Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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