jokeKing logo

Joker King - find funny jokes from here.

avatar Yokelele 1 day.agoAs a monk, Mendel had to keep his children a secret…

They were human beans, after all!

dadjoke
32
8
Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Dammit, my dishwasher AND my sex toy died today!

Bury this one and go back to the orphanage for another.

2. White people don't shoot other people in the streets like black people do.

We shoot them in school, because we have class.

3. Gays in syria

[removed]

4. I don't know why we bother telling suicidal people to "get help."

Buying rope isn't that fucking difficult.

5. Caitlin Jenner has been arrested

Apparently she was offering 2 year old pussy on Tinder.

6. A man runs over a woman, whose fault is it?

The man's because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen

7. Say what you will about pedophiles

But at least they drive through school zones slower

8. I was telling my friend that I pulled a girl off the railway lines last night just before a train arrived then had wonderful sex with her, my friend said did she give you head? I replied.

Couldn't find her head..

9. I don't understand.. Why can't someone just wake Avicii up?

It's all over.

10. A charity worker stopped me in the street and asked if I fancied taking part in a marathon. I was going to decline, but when he told me it was for disabled kids and children with severe learning difficulties...

I thought, fuck me, I might win this.

11. How does a black woman know she's pregnant?

When she takes her tampon out and the cotton is picked off.

12. Who are the 3 most underground rappers?

XXXTENTACION, Juice Wrld, and Mac Miller

13. I support LGBTQ

Let's Go Bully The Queers

14. I once organized a parent meeting at the school I worked at. That made a lot of people very angry.

Apparently, orphans don't have a sense of humor.

15. In my spare time I often go to court hearings about rapes.

If the guy turns out to be innocent, I follow the girl home and rape her. Nobody is going to believe her anyway.

16. My girlfriend's parents called me a pedophile because I'm 30 and she's 18.

It really kind of spoiled our 10th anniversary dinner.

17. What's 9 inches long, pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage.

18. My new gf is black and I couldn't be happier!

My wife is white and it's hard to hide all the bruises

19. Where do epileptic children go to eat?

Little Seizures.

20. What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?

Going to an Oregon community college

21. My girlfriend told me she wanted to be treated like a princess

So I put her in the back of a Mercedes and drove into a wall

22. Black guys are watching Black Panther twice in one week

But haven't seen their kids in over a year. Wakanda father are you?

23. What did my first football game and losing my virginity have in common?

I was bloody and sore afterwards, but at least my dad came.

24. I was once having sex with my German girlfriend

For some reason she kept yelling out her age

25. Where does a person with epilepsy order pizzas?

Little Seizures

26. My mother in law has a massive case of diarrhea...

She wont find out until she gets home and unpacks her luggage...

27. What do rednecks do on Halloween?

Pump kin

28. I was going to make fun of that homosexual that killed himself with a rope

But that's just low hanging fruit

29. All of these jokes are so dark...

I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.

30. I'm not a racist

I like black people just as much as normal people

more jokes Here waiting for you

best dad jokesjokes for adult
Welcome to Joker King – Your Daily Dose of Happiness!

Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

Feeling down? Click in—guaranteed smiles! 😆