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avatar MaidMarian20 16 hr.agoHow do you know you’re a pirate?

You just arr.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. My friends and I were making up jokes like these and then I thought of this!

Roses are red, violets are blue, in China it started off as the flu.

2. What is a black father's favourite parenting book?

Gone with the Wind

3. Mexican pet shop

There was this pet shop in Mexico that was pretty popular in its area. The owner sold lizards, fish, hamsters; all sorts of animals. The only thing that he couldn’t sell was this old parrot that he had acquired from across the border named Polly. Every time someone showed interest in Polly she would squawk loudly and flap her wings aggressively; which tended to scare people off. This happened over and over again. Polly seemed to have a problem with every man and woman in Mexico. The shop owner had no idea what to make of it. Until one day a very lovely soft-spoken Hispanic woman came into the shop. She saw Polly and immediately fell in love. The owner of the shop, thinking this could be the day, asked her if she’d like to hold Polly. The soft-spoken woman eagerly accepted his offer. The shop owner opened Polly’s cage and brought her over to the woman. Right on cue, Polly began squawking and flapping her wings; she even managed to bite the Mexican woman. The woman, of course, ran out the shop frightened and bleeding. The shop owner, who had hoped that he might finally sell the Parrot, was furious. He began yelling at the bird, “That woman was so lovely and so kind! What problem did have with her?” In response Polly began to hop and bob her head while repeating, “Polly wants a Cracker! Polly wants a Cracker!”

4. Why didn’t Logan Paul give rice gum a high five?

Bc he likes to leave Asians hanging

5. Human races are like teeth

We only want the white ones but most of them are yellow and the black ones must be removed

6. If a guy with only one arm speaks sign language,

is it a speech impediment or an accent?

7. How do you eradicate Covid-19?

Kneel on a black man for 9 minutes...

8. What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

9. Have you heard of that new podcast featuring inmates who went to jail for a short period of time and people suffering from speech impediments?

They call it “Barely a sentence”

10. Now that Stephen Hawking is dead,

you can imagine him at the stairway to heaven going "Shit!"

11. Women are like stones

The flat ones get skipped

12. What do you call a tank commander from Beijing?

A chink in the armor

13. R.I.P Stephen Hawking;

A truly brilliant Ventriloquist.

14. I never think twice about helping others in need.

In fact, I never think once about it.

15. Why did the mosquito bite the black person

Because It tastes like Kool aid

16. Body fluids are also like the human race.

What's white is valued. What's yellow and brown is flushed while reading a magazine. If it's black, you need to see a doctor.

17. Was america great during the civil war?

Because I think that's what he meant by "make america great again".

18. Why should youtubers ask for tips from China?

Because China knows how to make viral content.

19. How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just beat the room for being black

20. How do you know when dinner is ready in Asia?

The dog stops barking

21. How do you starve a negro?

Hide his food stamps under his work boots

22. Whats the difference between a police officer and a football player?

Football player gets penalized for excessive force.

23. How do I breathe? Without you!

https://www.reddit.com/r/Offensivejokes/comments/gu3l9u/kneeling_outta_respect/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

24. With the world distracted by Covid-19, Russia can get rid of any traitors

It really opened a window of opportunity.

25. A feminist walks into a bar and says : "Can I speak with the man in charge"

26. It was rumoured that Stephen Hawking admitted prior to his death, if in great pain, he may consider assisted suicide.

Or "Task Manager", as he calls it.

27. How long can a black man hold his breath?

Depends on how many cops are on him

28. What’s the difference between someone who votes Bernie and someone who votes anyone else?

A job.

29. A terrorist attack has blown away two houses in Syria.

One was made of straw and the other made of wood. Police have said that it's probably a lone wolf.

30. Black lives really do matter

They keep KFC and Popeyes in business.

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