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avatar jazor11 12 hr.agoYou know diarrhea is hereditary?

It runs in your jeans.

10
1
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Whats the difference between jeffery epstein and a catholic priest

Because one did not kill himself and the other has touched little boys

2. What are the fastest runners

Jewish people getting gasses

3. Help writing joke for alcoholic friends obituary

My friend died this week of complications related to alcoholism. We are writing his obituary which is written with generally a serious tone. But, he was a very funny guy and we think the best way to honor him would be to make a small joke about his issues. This is definitely very crude...but any ideas?

4. How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

12 One to screw it in, one to excoriate men for creating the need for illumination, one to blame men for inventing such a faulty means of illumination, one to suggest the whole "screwing" bit to be too "rape-like", one to deconstruct the light bulb itself as being phallic, one to blame men for not changing the bulb, one to blame men for trying to change the bulb instead of letting a woman do it, one to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from changing light bulbs, one to blame men for creating a society where women change too many light bulbs, one to advocate that light bulb changers should have wage parity with electricians, one to alert the media that women are now "out-light bulbing" men, and one to just sit there taking pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.

5. You wonder what a little girl does on christmas day

She wakes up hoping to see a family sitting at the tree getting presents but she is an orhoan and has one present left for her wher eits a baby doll with a string attached to it and she pulls it back and lets the message ring but instead she hears ”Jeffery Epstein didnt kill himself” and then hears ticking afterwards which the orphanage blows up

6. When a black man died, everyone starts stealing and looting

Funny how that works

7. Black lives mattered in the 1800s too

If too many of them died, it would drive the market prices up

8. What's the difference between a girl and a fridge

A fridge doesn't moan when u put meat in it.

9. All this looting is great, it’s like Black Friday again!

10. 1.Knock knock

2.Who’s there 1.Rey 2.Rey who 1.Reycist scum bag

11. Why do some people have broad noses?

To breathe like bitches.

12. Apparently, Stephen Hawking is British.

I had no idea, his accent threw me off.

13. The only n-word you should ever call a black person is nice.

Niggers like to be called nice.

14. Given the times in America cops really are a

Pain in the neck

15. If hot air goes up, then why do farts go down?

Because Donald Trump needs more air to keep talking out of his ass.

16. how many police does it take to change a broken lightbulb?

none. they beat the bulb for being broke and arrest the room for being black (creds: justaboy/YT)

17. What do you call two gay Irishmen?

Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick

18. What do George Floyd and Colin Kaepernick have in common?

They both went out on a limb by taking a knee for Black lives

19. Ugly people be like "This mask requirement to enter businesses shit is great, are you sure it's safe to take 'em off?"

20. Wanna go dumpster diving?

I say we hit Ramsey County Medical Examiner first.

21. I finally understood why they're calling it "peaceful protesting"

Because they're breaking windows into pieces and each person gets their own piece of the loot

22. She said choke me daddy,

so i took her to Minneapolis.

23. What do you call a Mexican assassin?

A killer bean

24. What’s the difference between a nigger and a pizza

The pizza can feed a family of four

25. Comas can really change the meaning of a sentence. For instance, "Ben is in a hurry."

"Ben is in a coma."

26. Hey girl are you a cop

because you take my breath away

27. I'm afraid we're seeing the dreaded second wave of coronavirus

I keep seeing videos of people shouting, "I can't breathe!"

28. George F Kaepernick!

I propose it’s too soon to take a knee

29. How many Minneapolis policemen does it take to screw in a light bulb.

None they will just beat it for being dark

30. What's the difference between a naked white girl and a naked black girl?

One's on the cover of Playboy while the other's on the cover of National Geographic

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