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avatar jugosk 11 year.agoStutter

A man walks into a bar and begins to order a beer, "O-O-One b-beer p-please." The bartender responds, "Hey man, I used to have the same stuttering problem. Then I went home, asked my wife to give me some head, and the next day I was cured." After hearing this the man rushed off before even getting his beer. The next day, the man returns and again orders a beer, "O-One b-b-b-beer p-please". The bartender asks, "didn't work huh?". The man replies, "No, b-b-b-but you have a l-l-lovely house!"

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. R.I.P Stephen Hawking;

A truly brilliant Ventriloquist.

2. I never think twice about helping others in need.

In fact, I never think once about it.

3. Why did the mosquito bite the black person

Because It tastes like Kool aid

4. Body fluids are also like the human race.

What's white is valued. What's yellow and brown is flushed while reading a magazine. If it's black, you need to see a doctor.

5. Was america great during the civil war?

Because I think that's what he meant by "make america great again".

6. Why should youtubers ask for tips from China?

Because China knows how to make viral content.

7. How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just beat the room for being black

8. How do you know when dinner is ready in Asia?

The dog stops barking

9. How do you starve a negro?

Hide his food stamps under his work boots

10. Whats the difference between a police officer and a football player?

Football player gets penalized for excessive force.

11. How do I breathe? Without you!

https://www.reddit.com/r/Offensivejokes/comments/gu3l9u/kneeling_outta_respect/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

12. With the world distracted by Covid-19, Russia can get rid of any traitors

It really opened a window of opportunity.

13. A feminist walks into a bar and says : "Can I speak with the man in charge"

14. It was rumoured that Stephen Hawking admitted prior to his death, if in great pain, he may consider assisted suicide.

Or "Task Manager", as he calls it.

15. How long can a black man hold his breath?

Depends on how many cops are on him

16. What’s the difference between someone who votes Bernie and someone who votes anyone else?

A job.

17. A terrorist attack has blown away two houses in Syria.

One was made of straw and the other made of wood. Police have said that it's probably a lone wolf.

18. Black lives really do matter

They keep KFC and Popeyes in business.

19. What do you call a Black pig?

Pigga

20. After watching School of Rock, I decided to start a band with the kids in my special needs class.

We call the group Syndrome of a Down.

21. I wonder if the people who were jumping out of the twin towers were just testing for fall damage?

22. The COVID-19 pandemic has had some positive consequences.

For example, the funeral business is booming.

23. What happens when a deer tick bites a bat?

A corona gets its Lyme

24. Blackout Tuesday, is that the day we drink grape juice and eat fried chicken for dinner?

25. Want to hear a joke about a part piece of paper?

Never mind... It's teareble.

26. What did Hitler say to the Jews...

Nothing, cause there dead.

27. What do you call it when you pepper spray a cop

Peppa pig

28. What do you call a gay person being covered in bruises

A muslim killing them with stones

29. Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog.

His name was Ahhhhhhh

30. Breaking news a manatee was mating with another manatee

Never mind it was a really fat woman being raped

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