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avatar macthecomedian 8 year.agoMy grandma died just six days before my birthday

Which of course made me extremely upset when my birthday came around, because I had nothing to wish for.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

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funny dad jokes
1. It's no surprise that the Williams sisters always win at tennis...

Black people have centuries of experience serving. And appearing at the courts, for that matter. _____ xpost: r/sickipedia

2. A math teacher has sex with one of his students

How many times does 42 go into 15?

3. What's the best way to bring out your inner child?

A coat hanger

4. If I had a nickle for every time someone called me racist

Niggers would rob me

5. What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

6. My girlfriend and I went to a restaurant for dinner.

It was a nice meal and we were ordering dessert. I asked the waiter how much the pie was. "$3.14 sir." he replied. "That's funny." I chuckled. "What's that sir?" he asked. "That Down's syndrome boy just tried to hug that heater and burnt himself." We both had a good laugh.

7. After our daughter was diagnosed with cancer my wife decided to paint her entire room pink to cheer her up a little bit

It's going to make my new gym look really gay.

8. A presidential win by Bernie Sanders would truly be historic......

It would be the first time a Jewish family moved into public housing that was left vacant by a black family......

9. A woman is getting raped and says "think about my children!"

And the rapist thinks "Wow, this lady is kinky"

10. Someone asked me if I wash my dick after I recieve a blowjob.

I told them: "No, I just brush my kids teeth before I go in."

11. What's the capital of Greece?

About €10

12. Killing Black People Is Like Saying The N Word

They do it all the time but get really angry when white people join in.

13. The first time I had sex was like the first time riding a bike...

My dad was holding me from behind.

14. A black chick wakes up to find her boyfriend missing

"Holy shit! I'm pregnant????"

15. So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster...

Now it doesn't work.

16. My first high school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...

It was sore and bloody, but at least my dad came.

17. So before a sermon, a priest lost his rooster...

He goes up and asks "How many of you have a cock?" And all the men stand up "No no, I'm sorry I said that wrong. How many of you have seen a cock?" And all the women stand up "I'm sorry let me rephrase that," said the priest "How many of you have seen my cock?" And all the Sunday school children stand up

18. We had a new student from Afghanistan today and my teacher told me to make her feel at home

So I threw acid in her face and called her a whore.

19. What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman

One is a superhero, the other is a command

20. What's the difference between a celebrity and a priest?

A celebrity fucks kids in Hollywood, a priest fucks kids with holy wood

21. What do women and condoms have in common?

Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

22. How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't. They arrest the light bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.

23. Today I prevented a woman from being gang-raped by 4 men.

I joined in. She was gang-raped by 5 men.

24. What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?

Alien vs. Predator

25. Why did the cow cross the road?

To go to the Feminists Convention

26. A Korean man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 200,000 Korean won and walked out with $200...

The following week, he walked in with another 200,000 Korean won, and was handed $185. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said, "Fluctuations." The Korean man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"

27. I learned yesterday that a school of piranhas can strip all the flesh off of a child's body in less than a minute...

On the downside, I lost my job at the aquarium...

28. Which nation has the most peaceful Muslims?

Imagination. ---------------- [Source](http://www.sickipedia.net/j/Racism/Muslim/60327)

29. Why don't Jews like being made fun of?

Because millions of them have already been roasted.

30. Pretty fucked up jokes

Q: How do you kill a redneck? A: Wait 'till he fucks his sister then cut the brakes on his house. Q: What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer? A: Freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out. Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A: Nothing you already done told her twice. Q: How do you fit 4 queers on a barstool? A: Flip it upside-down. Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free. Q: What happened when the jew walked into the wall with a hard-on? A: He broke his nose. Q: How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit? A: Nine months. Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up like an altarboy. Q: What do you call 40 mexicans buried up to their neck in sand? A: A spicket fence. Q: How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None,they just sit in the dark and bitch Q: Did you hear about the two car pile up in Mexico? A: 200 Mexicans died. Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile. Q: What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? A: Before the First Period. Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan. Q: What is a redneck virgin? A: A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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