Within a few minutes an airplane was about to crash. There were four passengers on board, but only three parachutes. The first passenger : I am Russel Westbrook, the best basketball player. The Oklahoma city and my millions of fans need me, so I can’t afford to die. He took the first pack and jumped out of the plane. The second passenger, Donald Trump : I am the newly-elected U.S. President, and I am the smartest president in American history, so my people don’t want me to die. He took the second pack and jumped out of the plane as well. The third passenger, the Pope, said to the fourth passenger, a 10 year-old schoolboy : My son, I am old and I don’t have very many years left, you have plenty of years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute. The little boy : That’s okay, Your Holiness, there’s a parachute left for you. America’s smartest president took my schoolbag.
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...knee to nose basis...
while looking at their family albums.
Nothing, they all die in school shooting.
"Never mind son." I said, "plenty more whales in the sea."
Kate takes hers out when she has to fuck him...
It was extremely boring. All my character could do was sit there quietly and try not to offend black people.
None, they just wait and expect the white people to do it for them
Hard dogs and police officers
An erection and 10 places to put it.
-the German pedophile
Neither did she!
into an oven, I'm hungry!!
They can’t find the 11 on the phone!
Photoshop - if you're good at it.
The guy with the hydraulic press would kill the baby for free, and he'll do ones that have already been born. He makes a lot of money, everybody loves watching a the compressed fetus goo squeezed out of the dead woman's vagina. The pro-choice finally did admit that abortion was murder, so we are now just the pro-murder movement. We love watching people be murdered by the hydraulic press.
They were having a pillow fight.
I really did not see that coming in "The Empire Strikes Back."
When they get the final solution.
Wongthink
At 69 they blow a rod.
The abortion was planned.
Batman and Batmen
She prefers being called big-boned.
LGBBQ
Because that’s shoplifting
Neither did she
They rearranged the furniture.
I don't care if she has either
It was for impersonating an officer
The bartender says "what will it be officer?"
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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