Joker King - find funny jokes from here.

Barium.

They told me to "dress for the job I want rather than the one I have," but somehow going in an astronaut suit wasn't "appropriate" for an accounting job.

They're all so tight-lipped about it.

Both are thinking "Oh no! My mom's gonna kill me!"

"No" said her husband. She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top three buttons of her blouse and slowly reached down in her cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar Bill. He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly. She then asked "Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?" "No I haven't" he said with an anxious tone in his voice. She gave him another sexy little smile pulled up her skirt, seductively reached into her tight, sheer panties and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill. He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation. "Now" she said "Have you ever seen 50,000 Dollars all crumpled up?" "No way" he said, becoming even more aroused and excited to which she replied: "Go look in the garage."

The father said: "Why, my son, it is a 'chechia.' In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.” "And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?” asked the boy. “Oh, my son!” exclaimed the father “It is very simple. This is a 'djbellah.' As I have told you, in the desert it is not only very hot, but the sand is always blowing. My djbellah protects the entire body." The son then asked: "But Father, what about those ugly shoes you have on your feet?” "These are 'babouches' my son,” the father replied. You must understand that although the desert sands are very beautiful, they are also extremely hot. These babouches keep us from burning our feet." "So tell me then," added the boy. "Yes, my son…” "Why are we living in Birmingham and still wearing all this shit?

After I reversed my car from over her leg In my defense, she asked me to break a leg at work.

I think my dyslexic girlfriend is cheating on me. She keeps texting me that she wants to do Alan.

It doesn't take a single soul

(says in feminine voice): haaaaaaaaaaayyyyy!

Son: How do stars die? Dad: An overdose, usually.

The difference is pull start or push start.

Hey guys, my best friends name is allison. Her name rhymes with nothing. My name rhymes with everything. She came up with an admittedly hilarious and very mean nickname for me the other day (all in good fun) and we are trying to make one for her now too. I'll take anything no matter how inappropriate. This request broke 2 different AI generators because I guess AI is bad at being mean, so now I'm turning to the professionals, please help us reddit.

Danny Fentanyl

to D.E.I

Two guys watching a flint Michigan basketball game. One guy says “man this Flint team is really good, what are they putting in the water over there?” The other guy says “lead”.

What do you call an incarcerated illegal immigrant while they’re in the states? Locked in alien.

I missed coworker said I didn't make it. I replied neither did he.

The antisemitic kid says: maybe we'll have to send him to concentration camp.

Am I mean or not

I was cumming for the kids

Toys for Twats.

Because of ICE essay

Girl 1: What do I do? Girl 2: What's wrong? Girl 1: I think my boyfriend got me pregnant Girl 2: is it too late? Girl 1: about 2 months now Girl 2: Damn Girl 1: My mom's gonna kill me Girl 2: I bet that baby's thinking the same thing

It’s when you see your mother in law is falling down the cliff in your new Mercedes

My mum turns 76 tomorrow and I wanted to get her something really special. I thought one of those 4,000-week calendars (the average life expectancy) would be perfect. To personalise it, I've filled in nearly all the boxes for her—just the last line left blank for her to finish. She'll be touched, right?

Came out of the cabinet

On YouTube, "Full day of eating" videos are all the rage among fitness influencers. Well, here's my idea to parody this trend: Title: *Full day of eating (disorder)* Video: An anorexic girl eats a slice of lemon, video ends.

But now it just doesn’t work.