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avatar Mboone94 7 year.agoThe police are like a box of chocolates

They kill your dog.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What do we want?

A cure for stut stut stut stu stu st st st.... screw it, the cold!

2. Who you gonna call

3. What do you call a gay abortion?

A wet fart

4. What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics?

CRAYONS!!!!!

5. What starts with S, ends with Y, and is something black people hate.

Slavery.

6. My neighbour and her new boyfriend both have osteoporosis.

They met on snapchat.

7. You're a cunt

.

8. Old Ethiopian proverb:

You can't have your cake or eat it.

9. What do you call when a gay person gets 3rd degree burns?

LGBBQ

10. Wanna hear a funny joke?

Women’s rights.

11. What do you call black comedy?

Dark humor

12. If my girlfriend had a dollar for every time I made a sexist joke...

she would have $0.77

13. What's black and screams really loud?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

14. "I bet it hurt when you fell from heaven, didn't it?" I asked the girl at the bar.

"Yeah" she laughed, "but what can you do?" I said, "You could have tried landing on your feet rather than your face."

15. What animal has five legs?

A pitbull coming from a playground.

16. Joe Biden must be getting hit the hardest by COVID-19

He can’t smell 12 year old girls hair anymore

17. Society is like eating an oreo

Everyone treats the black part preferentially but its the white part that they enjoy the most

18. What’s the difference between a baby and a pizza?

I don’t fuck the pizza before I eat it

19. What's the similarity between criticizing Xi Jinping on Reddit and in China.

\[removed\]

20. I want to be free.

Just as free as the blacks are.

21. Why did the negro call an ambulance from the toilet?

He took a shit and thought he was falling apart.

22. What do rednecks do at Halloween?

Pumpkin.

23. What's the difference between my wife and my dog?

My dog doesn't get mad at me when I pull him out of the trunk.

24. Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was black.

25. Definition of irony:

A fat person having to resort to jogging pants when they can't get trousers to fit them.

26. What does an airport have in common with a back alley abortion?

The hangar.

27. My first time having sex was alot like my first time driving.

I don't know what I was doing, but my dad was eager to show me.

28. BREAKING NEWS

A black teen was shot while walking at night; at least now he’ll get to meet his father.

29. Want to hear original nirvana joke??

nevermind

30. Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She didn’t have her seatbelt on

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