jokeKing logo

Joker King - find funny jokes from here.

avatar Finrod_the_awesome 7 year.agoWhat do you call a fat woman with a rape whistle?

Optimistic.

398
11
Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Why did the Jewish kid ask for the wind direction?

To know which way his parents went.

2. The police are like a box of chocolates...

They kill your dog.

3. Black Lives Matter.

4. I saw a black guy walking down the road with a T.V. today...

and I thought to myself "hey that could be mine!", then I remembered mine was at home shining my boots.

5. What's the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

I'm not gonna leave a bag of cocaine in the car all day.

6. Yo Mama

Yo mama so slutty, she got fired from the sperm bank for drinking on the job.

7. My wife suffers from a drinking problem

My wife suffers from a drinking problem. Oh, your wife is an alcoholic? No, I am. She’s the one who suffers.

8. What do a nigger and a bike have in common?

Neither works without a chain.

9. My girlfriend came home earlier than normal last night and caught me cheating on her.

I'm not sure what she was more upset about: that I was fucking our daughter, or that the abortion clinic let me bring her home.

10. Turns out Jesus really WAS black

He lived at home until he was 30, was homeless for two years and wound up on death row

11. Retards are like Slinkies...

Not really good for anything, but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.

12. They say a woman's work is never done

maybe that's why they get paid less.

13. Why are murders in West Virginia so hard to solve?

There's never any dental records and all the DNA is the same.

14. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Because his wife died

15. What starts with N, ends with R, and is something you don't want to call a black guy?

Neighbor

16. When the judge asked me why I stole the newborn from the adoption center, I simply replied:

“It’s not stealing if no one wants it”

17. Due to years of drinking and drugs, Ozzy Osbourne can handle a drink

He just can’t hold it

18. What’s black on top and white on the bottom?

Rape.

19. What's the best way to celebrate a black kid's 16th birthday in America?

By putting flowers on his grave.

20. Why did the grand juror take popcorn to Ferguson, Missouri?

He didn't want to miss the midnight premier of Planet of the Apes.

21. What's difference between dollars and Jews?

I'd give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars.

22. What's a baby look like after 10 minutes in blender?

How am I supposed to know, after 6 minutes I'm done jacking off and have lost all interest.

23. What do you call a punch that can take out a whole class of Kindergarteners at once?

A Sandy Hook.

24. How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb

Trick question, feminists can't change anything

25. Why do abortion jokes make you laugh so much?

Because they bring out the kid in you.

26. What do you call a bird that denies war crimes?

A turkey

27. Women are like parking spaces

Usually all the best ones are taken, so when no ones looking, stick it in the disabled one.

28. My teacher asked me what a main feature of a greek tragedy was....

Apparently Bankruptcy was the wrong answer.

29. After death, what organ in the female body stays warm?

My cock.

30. Just Back from Holidays in Thailand and I came so close to shagging a lady boy

Looked like a lady, walked like a lady, talked like a lady, it was only when she drove me to her place and reversed the car into the garage I thought, " Hang on a fucking minute"

more jokes Here waiting for you

best dad jokesjokes for adult
Welcome to Joker King – Your Daily Dose of Happiness!

Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

Feeling down? Click in—guaranteed smiles! 😆