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avatar madazzahatter 7 year.agoThe other day, I saw the headline, "Woman Beats Off Rapist"...

And I thought, "That seems like a reasonable compromise."

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Why did God invent yeast infections?

So woman know what its like living with an irritating cunt

2. Don’t text and drive at the same time

You could accidentally mak a typo

3. what do you call fear of retarded people

transphobia

4. LPT: A bullet to the head cures depression.

5. We should respect the fat acceptance movement for how unique it is.

It's the only movement without movement.

6. What does a leaky diaper and women have in common?

They both can't keep their shit together

7. Why do black people have white palms?

There’s a little bit of good in everyone.

8. I think only black people should cops problem solved. Though it would require showing up to a job, driving a car that wasn't stolen, not robbing the place where you get your doughnuts, taking drugs from people not just taking drugs and paying for stuff out of your own wallet not everyone else's.

9. Jake Paul so ugly

He's gonna come out of prison a virgin

10. Someone asked my girlfriend how deep is she?

I replied 6ft

11. What has 2016 and 2020 got in common ?

Outrage over the unjust killing of a gorilla

12. What is the difference between little children and black people?

I don't want to touch black people

13. What do gay hippies in Western countries and Middle East have in common?

They all get stoned.

14. What do you call an Asian prostitute?

Dat Phat Ho

15. What’s about six inches, pink, and my girlfriend cries when I put it in her mouth

Her aborted baby

16. How much is the real Vatican's GPD?

Nobody knows. Epstein took that secret to his grave.

17. What would MLK be called if he was alive today?

Martin Looter King

18. What's the difference between Batman and black people?

Batman can go out without robin.

19. What's the highest amount of time a black man hold his breath?

8 minutes and 46 seconds

20. Why’d do black people call why white people Honky?

It’s the last noise they hear before we run em over!

21. At school I used to bully the kid who had brittle bone disease.

Then one day he just snapped.

22. I Don’t normally laugh at jokes about dead people

But this one George Floyd Joke was so funny it literally took my breath away

23. Black lives have always mattered

They kept the cotton business booming in the 1800s

24. Midgets don't like being called Midgets.

And they really REALLY don't like being called "People McNuggets."

25. A woman who is half Asian and half muslim...

Tried to fly a plane into a building, as all muslims do, but missed and hit a parked car because she's an asian woman driver. Thank you.

26. A fire broke out at a Weight Watchers meeting today.

Members could be heard screaming, "Walk for your lives!"

27. What do cigarettes and Jeffree Star have in common?

They are both fags I would smoke

28. KFC is now really scraping the bottom of the barrel and has started a new campaign to target Downs customers.

It's window-lickin' good.

29. I just saw an Indian guy shaking a piece of carpet outside his door.

I said, "What's up, won't it start?"

30. How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just shoot the room for being black

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Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

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