Joker King - find funny jokes from here.

Grandpa does the frog noises, then asks his grandson why he brought it up. "Because I heard mommy and daddy say that when you croak we can fuck off to Disneyland!"

"I'm not good with kids, I'm not going to lie. Hell, a couple of months ago I dropped my cousins baby... Flat out, dropped my cousins baby on the ground. I don't feel like that was my fault. I don't feel responsible for that one. I mean, who in their right mind asks me, Anthony Jeselnik, to be a pall bearer?"

Because the whole state is inbred.

I don't know. But it gathers cotton very fast.

Similar to the World Trade Center. There used to be 2 of them, but now it’s too sensitive of a subject to discuss.

It's because we are simply better at everything

Jews don't pay for anything.

So that they know what it's like to live with an irritable cunt.

His-panic attacks.

What is the favorite festival of an orphan child? NeverSEEa my parents

But they can say other things like "Hi, Dad" or "Thanks for the warning, officer"

You don't peel the crust off a pizza before you eat it

And an old trucker pulls over to give the hitcher a ride. After about 10 minutes of silence, the gender fluid person asks "Well, aren't you curious if I'm a boy or a girl?" And the old trucker says "Not really, I'm gunna fuck ya either way."

There's no steering wheel at the back of the bus

No chance of stopping an uppercut.

They could’ve used the wheels for a bike for a normal kid.

Steven Hawking in a house fire.

Tell her your wife wants abortion rights. Then tell her its because the baby is a girl.

One is on the cover of Playboy and the other is on the cover of National Geographic.

They couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

Some of them are white.

“Every morning my husband and I pass each other in the hall and say, ‘Fuck you!’"

I didn't see the driver so I'm not going to assume what gender she was.

Everytime they get a corner they open a store

It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.

They only put their hands on one to twelve. (Probably been done before)

Okay, so I've been collecting various offensive jokes. I have several jokes for pretty much every demographic I can think of, except for white people. This is where you guys come in. Tell me all your best white people jokes. In exchange, here are some of my favorite jokes I've collected so far: __Jews__ What do you call a Jew that can fly? Smoke. Where do black Jews come from? The oven. Who invented copper wire? Two Jews fighting over a penny. Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill. What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Phelps can finish a race. What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips. What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? A Boy Scout comes back from camp. Why are Jews circumcised? Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 20% off. __Blacks__ Why did the black third grader have a bigger dick than everybody else? He was 23. How do you starve a nigger to death? Hide his food stamps under his work boots. What's the difference between a dead dog in the middle of the road and a dead nigger in the middle of the road? Swerve marks. How do they make roads in South Africa? They make niggers lay down and have every other one smile. What do you do when you see a black guy with half a face? Stop laughing and reload. Why do black guys have bigger dicks than white guys? Because white guys had toys to play with as kids. Why are there only two pallbearers at a nigger's funeral? Trash cans only have two handles. Why weren't there any blacks in the Flintstones? They were still monkeys. __Mexicans__ What's the difference between a Mexican and an elevator? One can raise a child. What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower? Unemployed. What's a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country. What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? One can support a family. What do you call a Mexican fighting a priest? Alien vs. Predator. What do you call a Mexican with no arms? Trustworthy. What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? One can feed a family of four. I've got more if you guys want.

Because kids say the darnest things

Optimistic!

Prophets are going through the roof!