leocohen99 6 year.agoA man finds out his wife is cheating on him...So he walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why are you looking so blue?" The man replies "I just found out my wife is cheating on me. I've decided I'm going to drink myself to death. I'll have some whiskey please." The bartender looks shocked and says "I'm sorry, but I can't help you kill yourself." The man asks "Well what would you do in my situation?" The bartender thinks for a bit and says "If I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife I wouldn't sit around feeling sorry for myself, I'd kill the guy." The man jumps up from his stool and shouts "That's a great idea! Thanks!" and runs out of the bar. A couple hours goes by and the bartender is starting to get nervous. Suddenly the man walks back into the bar with a big smile on his face. "Did you kill the guy?" The bartender asks nervously. "Nope! I slept with your wife. Whiskey please."
Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.
In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
I'd have $1.74
Our thoughts and prayers go out to the hospital staff at this difficult time.
This kid asks his mother "am I more Jewish or black?" His mother replies "You shouldn't think of these things like that... Why do you care?" Kid tells his mother "Well, Billy Marcus down the street is selling his bicycle for $40. I wanted to decide whether to Jew him down to $20, or just steal it tonight."
He knows where all the naughty girls live
Because her mother always told her to enjoy the little things in life.
Blame the Russians
"All of mine sucked"
no one likes the black ones
So they don't get mistaken for feminists.
Santa goes down the chimney.
He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I'm tired of handouts, I want a job." The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big white Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year." The black man said, "Ah c'mon, you're bullshitting me!" The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!"
But have you ever made it all the way through an Ariana Grande concert without wanting to kill yourself?!
You get kicked out of the petting zoo.
"Is it because she cares about women's rights?" She asked. "No," I answered, "It's because she is fat and ugly."
You know he’s there because he’s guilty.
All the colors are straight.
You see her face everywhere
She did, so I wrote: "Samantha gives great head" on the gent's wall.
A man comes up to him and punches him in the face. "That was for Pearl Harbor." "What? That was the Japanese. I'm Korean." "Chinese, Vietnamese, Burmese... it's all the same." The Korean punches him back. "That was for the Titanic." "What? I'm Jewish." "Steinberg, Rosenberg, Spielberg, iceberg... it's all the same."
Caitlyn Jenner
It's just like regular Facebook, except you can't Report Abuse.
There once was a blind kid. He always kept asking his mom : " when would i be able to see ? " And she answered : " in 3 months " Then a day later he asked again and she said : " in 89 days " . The days went on as he kept asking and his mom continued to answer - in 65 days... in 40 days.... in one month.... in a week and then the day arrived she said to him , "tomorrow youll be able to see" and the kid was very excited and happy tears of joy slided down his eyes. Then the day arrived and all the family gathered around the kid and woke him up the kid then continued by saying : "mommy i still cant see " which to all of his family answered while clapping april fools!!! April fools!!! April fools!!
A threesome
Now I'm Muslim and we're stoning her tomorrow.
But he didn't take the hint.
My penis.
At first I thought it was normal ice, but when I got back up, my wallet was gone.
They had their shit packed the night before.
Car-los
The camel will get exhausted.
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
Feeling down? Click in—guaranteed smiles! 😆
