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avatar wackoclown 6 year.agoAs I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter…

I slid my finger back out, and within seconds, she was going down on me. I thought to myself, "I really need a new fucking boat."

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. A skunk and a rabbit are blind and are thinking of touching each other to see if they could identify each other so the skunk says you have floppy ears furry you must be a rabbit and the rabbit says your greasy and u stink u must be a paki

2. what are suicide bombers afraid of most?

dying alone.

3. Today, nose strips are used to remove blackheads.

200 years ago, guillotines did the trick.

4. What's the difference between Jews and Santa?

Santa goes *down* the chimney.

5. Why was Princess Diana’s car going so fast?

She was later for her flying lesson with John Denver

6. Did you hear that OJ Simpson caught the Corona Virus barehanded?

The real killer is his PPE didn’t fit.

7. I was called homophobic the other day and I just don't get it. I'm not homophobic at all!

I'm not scared of faggots in the least bit, I just really hate them.

8. I tied up my girlfriend and activated a lighter near her heart.

It was a heartwarming experience for the both of us.

9. What do the Coronavirus and murder hornets have in common?

Neither of them have killed you yet

10. Isn’t it ironic

Isn’t it ironic that Eid al-Fitr sounds like Adolf Hitler?

11. You know why people never knew that steven hawking's was british

You could never here his accent

12. Why are male feminists more dangerous than female feminists?

Because they're actually heard.

13. What were Michael J. Fox and Ozzy Osborne doing in a car together?

Parallel Parkinsons.

14. I was disappointed when I met Michael J Fox

I wanted to shake his hand but it was already shaking.

15. What do you call a black guy that nags?

A nagger you racist fuck

16. I named my daughter 'Juul'

so I could say "I hit juul all the time".

17. How do you blindfold a chinese person?

You put floss over their eyes.

18. What do you do when you see someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in some laundry and detergent

19. I used the rape whistle that I got!

Man, it's hard blowing that thing and keeping someone pinned down at the same time.

20. Gay midgets...

do they come out of the cabinet?

21. How do you start a rave in an epileptic ward?

Throw a flash bang

22. I read in a woman's magazine that the perfect husband is "wealthy, intelligent and has an off-button".

I'm not a fan of these distorted standards for men, how's a regular guy meant to compete with Stephen Hawking?

23. My Jewish neighbor is so cheap

he gets tasered by police just to charge his phone.

24. What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?

Optimistic...

25. So I was eating this girl out and I tasted Horse semen. Horse semen!! I looked up at here and said,” is that how you died grandma?”

26. What do you call a body positive cow?

A horse

27. What is a slave’s favorite junk food?

Cotton candy

28. How do you make a kid cry twice?

Use their teddy bear to wipe the blood off their pussy.

29. Me and R Kelly made a website

Should I call it”Kinderhub” or “Only kids”?

30. What do you use to clean black ice?

A Samboni

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Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

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