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avatar 6 year.agoA nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar and order drinks.

"We don't sell alcohol to anyone under 18", says the bartender.

Walks into a bar
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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What do you call a horny fisherman?

A MasterBaiter

2. I asked my boyfriend if i was the only one, he's been with.

He said "yes the others were atleast sevens or eights"

3. What’d you call a Chinese paedophile?

Fuk ‘em yung !!!

4. How do you kill a clown?

Stab it repeatedly

5. What starts with A, ends with N, and means ending the life of a child?

African

6. When did hitler kill himself?

After he saw the gas bill

7. I just got my 23&me results back - they say I’m Asian

I’m pretty sure I’m not though, I have 3 daughters. I would’ve killed 2 of them by now.

8. Throwing acid is wrong...

In some people's eyes

9. What’s the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the Abuse Shelter? The dishes if she knows what’s good for her.

10. You know what happened as soon as Steven hawking died

He got Dee dossed

11. Have you ever ate out a girl from California?

You either get one of the two things; you’ll taste the ocean, you know plastic... or you’ll get a mouth full of dick.

12. What is it called when American Police picks up arms against the local populace?

Huntington's

13. What the difference between a baby and cancer?

I dont go to jail when I beat cancer.

14. What is the difference between Santa Claus and a Priest?

The gift that they give to children

15. Do you know how to keep a racist in suspense?

16. Just started work in a record shop.

A black lad walks in and says "Got anything by The Doors"? I said "yes 2 cameras and an alarm now fuck off".

17. What's twelve inches long, purple and can make a woman scream all night?

Cot death

18. What did the gay man say to the paraplegic ?

I’d rather be a fruit than a vegetable.

19. What do u call a white guy with gasoline

A firecracker

20. What's pink and retarted ?

A flamongo .

21. The only thing I knew about Kentucky before moving here...

...they treat food recipes like sex, they keep it in the family.

22. What do you call a revolution in Africa?

Ooga Boogaloo

23. What do you call a Muslim in a pool

A bath bomb

24. My gf was all plastic

So I just burned her for good

25. How can you tell when your sister is on her period?

Your dads dick tastes funny

26. What’s red, 6 inches long and makes your girlfriend cry when you feed it to her?

Her miscarriage

27. After sex, the guy says to the girl:

'You know what? You are a better fuck than our moter' She says: 'Yes, I know, dad told me that.'

28. We have to give props to kobe

We have to give props to kobe, I mean he was the only black father to take their kids with him

29. What's the difference between your computer and your sister?

Your computer doesn't freak out when you accidentally cum on it.

30. Do you know why cops shot at the sky?

Because at night the sky is dark

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