Saileeee 6 year.agoIve been in jail for 5 minutes and ive already been raped twiceI hate playing monopoly with my dad
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Shadow Raid.
A good start.
They die in tunnels.
don't expect the coronavirus to last it was made in china
"Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared." The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
He was too far out man ✌🏽
She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box
Personally I think it’s the Jew because he had pennies in his pockets but then again, the negro stole them. Plus, chains make you heavier.
A Necrofantasia, of corpse!
Jacob looks down, then he looks up and shyly adds, "They also had gold teeth."
Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows
It’s a real fucking shame because I now have nothing to wish for.
Kurt Cobain killed himself
None, they just form a support group,'People living in Darkness'.
A falling star
Died in a nasty accident
Or if you want to be politically-correct about it, I have an autistic son.
...you have to chew on it a while to get the full effect...
All of them!
A fucking Moron
Choked because a cookie was stuck in his throat after seeing the gas bill.
Like bitch that's a BIB
That's just how it was on the sugar plantation.
Sherriff said it was the worst case of suicide he's ever seen.
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline. If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership. If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway. If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names. If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911. If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
"If my mom was a hen and my dad was a chicken, I'd be a little chick. If my mom was a deer and my dad was a buck, I'd be a little deer. If my mom was a duck and my dad was a goose, I'd be a little duckling." The ~~bus~~ annoyed ~~bus~~ driver stops the bus and turns to the boy saying, "What if your mom was a drunk and your dad was a bum?" The boy responds, "Then I'd be a bus driver." **EDIT: busted for two too many buses!**
The press described it as an "Ice cream cone in your back-pocket law" because there were never any heterosexuals in California... California also recently legalized all forms of child molestation... The kids in California were very upset about this law... since those kids were all homosexuals, it turns out they were staunch proponents of their own molestation and themselves predatory child molesters. A unanimous majority from the California Supreme Court issued this Principle Opinion: "If a man molests a small child who is himself an unapologetic and predatory child molester, one must argue this grown man has been in the same right been sexually assaulted by the small child. To argue that one of the two child molesters involved did not enjoy and consent to the child molestation implies that this argument holds true with respect to the other, thus neither party consented to the act. As there is no precedent for mutual rape in which both involved individuals are charged with raping each other, we must concede that no crime has been committed."
It's a racial stereotype.
They would gas out so hard they'll die.
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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