Dad: Wonderful; do you have a girl in mind?! Boy: Yes... grandma! She said she loves me, I love her, too....and she’s the best cook & story teller in the whole world! Dad: That’s nice, but we have a small problem there! Boy: What problem?! Dad: She happens to be my mother. How can you marry my mother! Boy: Why not?! You married mine! Edit - thanks kind strangers for the awards! I have never gotten them before so thanks!
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Ash.
The perfect rape victim!
You might get shot by the police.
...we go with Human Lives Matter? That way, it excludes the niggers.
The gorilla has a dad
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
You can’t take pills on an empty stomach
It's not, jokes have meaning.
The drone
Listen for maracas
A Jew with a coupon.
It can be done with a credit card, but I prefer to use a knife.
Let God Burn Them Quickly
Santa Claus goes down your chimney
They would eat the bat
Garbage gets picked up
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, *your* generation relies too much on technology!" I then proceeded to unplug his life support.
Ranji is a 9 year old boy living in Namibia. He only has 1 leg, 1 arm, and 1 eye. Each day, Ranji has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes, and only the opposite pedal. If you send just $2, I’ll send you the video, it’s fucking hilarious.
Dialogue: Thor Lorgen
Then it would cut itself
when they get pulled over by a police officer. The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver "Sorry to pull you over father, but we're looking for a couple of child molesters" The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says; «Alright officer, we'll do it»
To get to the other side.
He said, "Nice shirt faggot." I replied, "Thanks, it's 100% cotton. Tell your grandparents I said thanks."
Which of course made me extremely upset when my birthday came around, because I had nothing to wish for.
So I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he's right.
A PDF file
is he charged with assault, or child abuse?
Your mother's cunt gets some new content every once in a while. Seriously, the amount of reposts going on in the past few months, both comments and posts, is sickening.
She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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