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avatar NZXT_T1M3 5 year.agoWhy do black people only have nightmares?

Because the last one who had a dream got shot.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What's the similarity between pedophile and mathematicians?

Both use their fingers if it's under 10

2. What are the last words uttered before 99% of untimely redneck deaths?

“Hold mah beer and watch this!”

3. What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian when they were leaving the nightclub?

“Wanna come back to my place for twattails?

4. Don't forget to leave box cutters in your fire place for the Taliban tonight!

Enjoy some pin the tail on the airplane, twin tower margaritas etc

5. What can six men do, that three women can’t?

Piss in a bucket at the same time.

6. Without the Arabs we wouldn’t have 9/11..

It would be IX/XI

7. How many white guys does it take to end a reelection bid?

-1

8. What are the most misogynistic jokes towards men you know?

9. When I was was younger, I first heard about Princess Diana dying all over the radio…

…and the dashboard and the windshield.

10. You know what happens when a woman farts and she’s not wearing pantyhose?

She gets dandruff on her shoes.

11. What’s the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?

Well a rooster clucks defiance….

12. Give me the most darkest jokes you guys have

13. Why do women love sitting on jews

Their nose is like a built in dildo

14. How was copper wire invented?

Two Jews found a penny at the same time.

15. Why can’t America and Britain play chess

they’re missing 2 towers and a queen

16. What do you call a Mexican millionaire

Juan Million

17. Why do jews get circumcised

Jewish women wouldn’t touch anything that isn’t 10% off

18. What do Blacks and Hispanics have most in common?

Once you’ve met Juan you’ve met Jamal.

19. What the best part of banging a trans girl?

Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through.

20. What is black, white and red all over?

An interracial car crash.

21. My girlfriend called me a pedophile

I said “that’s a pretty big word for a 4 year old”

22. Why do black people only get nightmares

Well because the last one that had a dream got shot

23. Now days you’re only allowed to make fun of communities you’re a part of

Eg. Gays can make homophobic jokes but i can’t. So 2 pedophiles walk into a bar

24. Have you heard about the new dating service in India that is 100% satisfaction guaranteed?

It’s called “Connect the Dots.”

25. They say you should keep your sex toys clean

That’s probably why a priest invented baptism

26. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

He wiped his ass!

27. Essential equipment for getting lucky in Europe: Condom - Essential equipment for getting lucky in America: Condom, Rope amd Harness

>!Because Americans eat too much Pizza and Chocolate!<

28. Have you heard about the new documentary called “Constipation”?

It hasn’t come out yet.

29. If an Ant was the same size as a man who would be better at sex

>!The Ant because it can climb up a woman/man no matter their size.!<

30. Why did Hitler committed suicide?

.....because he got the gas bill

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Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

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