a120800 5 year.agoIf Trump were captain of the RMs TitanicCaptain Trump of the RMS Titanic: There isn't any iceberg. There was an iceberg but it's in a totally different ocean. The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon. There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg. We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly. The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg. We are taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat, and they are beautiful lifeboats. Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them. We don't have any lifeboats, we're not lifeboat distributors. Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats. I really don't think we need that many lifeboats. We have lifeboats and they're supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers' lifeboats. The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship. Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg. Edit: Thanks to those that awarded and enjoyed this. I didn’t know so many people would like it this much!
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Throw a penny off the cliff. How do you get two Jews to jump off a cliff? Tell them the penny is still down there
Show Off!
It only takes one nail to hang the picture
Aspies = people with Asperger's Syndrome.
The anchor
A quarter pounder with cheese!
cop shoots at a flying cockroach but accidentally kills black man instead
So she disabled the cheat codes.
A prostitute can wash her crack and resell it.
Faggocytosis
The white family survives because the kids were in school and the parents were at work.
They haven't figured out how to steal houses yet.
At least they're still born
It's called The Voices.
Because that’s the closest I can get to a slave these days
-Ate an 8 year old sausage -Drank 10 year old cream -Ate 9 and 11 year old buns
it's nice to see he's finally found somebody.
An explanation a black man gives to his boy about where he's been.
Probably cocaine
The priest says, "let's go f**k that little boy" The rabbi replies, "f**k him out of what?"
A quarter pounder with cheese.
They get pissed if you touch their children
...and broke his nose.
Neither have they
A quarter pounder with cheese!
Nuclear fusion.
You need a licence to shoot a gun.
One of them rubs it and poof, there was a genie. He said that each one of them has 3 wishes, de the bear goes first and says:” make every female bear in this forest fall in love with me, with a click of his finger and boom every female bear fell in love with him. Then the squirrel goes:” I would like some walnuts!” With another click of his finger and the squirrel had some walnuts, the bear suddenly said:”walnuts? You could have whatever you want and you chose walnuts?” When it came to there other wish the bear said:”now make every female bear in this city fall in love with me” and boom he had his wish granted. For the squirrel he said he would like some nuts, the bear replied: “I swear you’re dumb you could’ve chosen money fame or even women and you choose nuts?” For their 3rd wish the bear said:” I would like every female bear in this world to fall in love with me” and that wish also was granted. When it came to the squirrels last wish the squirrel said in a Loud voice:” now I want this mother f*cker to be gay
Oops i burnt one
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best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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