5 year.agoWhat is the difference between a school bus and cactus?On the school bus the little pricks are on the inside.
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Animal ab use
They put them both in a room with a woman and say they can have her, but they have to approach her only half a distance that lies between them, each time. The mathematician gives up, stating he cannot reach the woman. The engineer will continue because he knows he will get close enough for all practical purposes.
They caught me red handed.
They usually have something like ten, so you can choose.
but it sure makes the evening more memorable.
None. They just sit in the dark blaming the bulb for not screwing them.
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
An Amish drive by.
Because they're both right.
Because they are traveling light.
Hindsight is 2020
Only if you burn yourself.
“Are you still holding the ladder son?”
His Dad says, "Son, you can't have it both ways."
If it isn't autocorrect
One’s good in bed, one’s good in bread, and one’s a good inbred.
None. They use Gaslighting instead.
...you've technically witnessed a race related shooting
She never saw it coming.
Tough shit
Worst prostate exam I ever had.
“My wife is the most suspicious person I know,” the guy shared with a sympathetic friend. “If I come home early, she suspects I want sex. And if I come home late, she suspects I’ve already had it.”
Mechanic asks, “What’s the problem with your car?” Guy says, “Look inside”. Mechanic looks inside and says, “All I see is a lamp”. Guy says, “Yeah, it’s a Slavic made lamp but the bulb is Native American.” Mechanic: “So?” Guy says: “It’s a Czech Injun light.”
And backed up over a vampire.
With all the new tariffs they can no longer afford French kissing.
I'm fucking baffled
It was a business doing pleasure with you.
I ride the bus
"I've got good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?" "Give me the bad news first." "You have two weeks to live." "Two weeks to live?? What can the good news possibly be?" "I bowled a 290."
She was lack-toes intolerant.
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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