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avatar 4 year.agoMy first time having sex was alot like my first time driving.

I don't know what I was doing, but my dad was eager to show me.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. whatsapp group chat reboot.anything goes (dont be a bitch)

https://chat.whatsapp.com/FPNFkjuMG8u3EcJS2DDZcy

2. My Jewish girlfriend got fired from her job because she was always getting distracted.

So I sent her to a concentration camp.

3. What do you call a group of black women?

A farmer's toolshed. (If you didn’t get it it’s because they’re hoes)

4. It’s a shame automatic rifles are banned

Now I have to pull the trigger every time I see a kid.

5. What do Californian feminists and Middle-eastern feminists have in common?

They both get stoned.

6. What’s the difference between pizza and Jews?

Pizza didn’t do 9/11

7. What does a baby look like when you hit it with a lawn mower?

I dont know-i close my eyes when I cum

8. How do you kill a Briton?

Poison his tea and hide the antidote in a tube of toothpaste.

9. Why are priests called Father?

Because it's too suspicious to call them Daddy.

10. Whats the difference between Santa clause and a jew?

Santa goes DOWN the chimney

11. Grammar.

The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

12. What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead negro in the road?

The dead dog has skid marks in front of it

13. Disappointment

running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose first

14. Talk dirty to me

I'm gonna get you wetter than a spastics chin

15. Why are most North Koreans left handed?

Because they have no rights.

16. I was having rough sex with my German girlfriend

For some reason she kept screaming her age instead of the correct safeword

17. What’s the difference between you and me?

I am not a meth head.

18. I thought of making a groping joke

In the end I didn’t. It’s a touchy subject

19. A Chinese man was eating some eggroll, but was short the equivalent of one cent.

He said, “I'll give you my girl! Hopefully that will be enough to cover it!” The restaurant got him arrested anyway since girls are worthless in China.

20. What kind of punch can kill 6 adults and 20 children?

A Sandy Hook.

21. What’s in a seven-course meal in Ireland?

A six-pack of beer and a potato.

22. An obese women told me a joke.

I didn't laugh but the floor was cracking up

23. What do you call a black astronaut?

Coon on the moon

24. What do you call kids outside of a school zone?

Speed bumps

25. All feminists are lesbians but..

All lesbians are feminists

26. What kind of martial arts do people with Down syndrome and an amputated leg practice?

Partial arts

27. Why did the black boy fall off his bike? He didn't. He fell off your bike.

28. What type of music are homeless people unable to hear?

House music.

29. I like my women how i like my deer

Usually found dead on the side of the road

30. How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

Pick it up and suck its cock.

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