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avatar __sliver__ 4 year.agoWant to hear original nirvana joke??

nevermind

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. A boy walks in on his dad in the shower.

The boy says, "Dad what's that big hairy thing between your legs?" Dad replies, "That's your sisters head, son."

2. What's the difference between Ukraine and your mother?

There's no definitive proof that thousands of Russians have entered Ukraine.

3. Barbie dolls give young boys unreal expectations

About how easy it is to decapitate a head

4. A white guy goes into a plastic surgeon and says, "I want to be a black man."

The doctor replies, "Alright, but in order to turn you into a black man, I'm going to have to darken your skin by 70%, reduce your brain mass by 20%, and add 4 inches to your penis." The white guy eagerly agrees to this and goes in for the operation. After the operation, the doctor says to the formerly white guy, "I'm so sorry... there was a mix up in your surgery notes. I ended up darkening your skin by only 20%, increasing your brain mass by 70%, and deducting 4 inches off your penis. Is there any way that you could ever forgive me?" The former white guy replies, "謝謝"

5. Last night at the party

I went to a party last night. I thought I looked pretty smart but some Jewish cunt decided she wanted to ruin my night. She yelled out over the crowd, "The '70s called. They want their shirt back!" I replied, "The '40s called. Your shower's ready." ___ (No karma for me please - the joke was swiped from the link below) http://www.sickipedia.org/racism/jew/i-went-to-a-party-last-night-i-thought-i-1181559

6. Why do Mexicans never have Sex Ed. and Driver's Ed. on the same day?

They have to give the donkey a break at some point.

7. A girl was gangraped by a group of mimes

They did unspeakable things to her

8. What’s the only Jewish overwatch character?

Ashe

9. Why is today called Black Friday?

Because everything is a steal

10. While having sex with my down syndrome girlfriend I realized something.

I'm fucking retarded.

11. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Obviously not 8 because my basement is still dark.

12. What is the most expensive haircut?

Chemotherapy.

13. Mommy, why am I getting Christmas presents in August?

Because it’s cheaper than chemotherapy.

14. If I had a nickel for every racist joke I ever told...

I'd probably get robbed by a black guy

15. Two Jewish men walk by a church

The church has a sign that says "convert to Christianity and get 50$" one man says to the other "Morty, I'm thinking about doing it." The man enters the church and comes out half an hour later. Morty asks "did you get your fifty dollars?" The man replies "is that all you people think about?"

16. I added Paul Walker on xbox live yesterday.

shame he spends all his time on the dashboard.

17. What does Hitler and Acetone have in common?

They're both excellent polish removers

18. What's black and covered in cobwebs?

Most of the jokes on this sub.

19. A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?”

“Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it

20. A priest, a homosexual and a child molester walk into a bar.

He orders a beer.

21. Humans and sharks have one thing in common

All the great ones are white.

22. Registration on the first day back at school in London, England....

Ahmed Al Sheriah ………………………………"here" Mustafa Al Sheriah …………………………….."here" Fatima El Bindiri ……………………………….."here" Ali Acmah Shabeeb ……………………………"here" Ali Sun Al En ……………………..No answer Ali Sun Al En? Little girl at the back stands up and yells ........ "It's pronounced Alison Allen, for fuck sake !" _____ xpost - r/sickipedia

23. i made a website for orphans

you need a parents approval to sign up

24. Yo mama's so old

She has a separate entrance for black dick.

25. Jesus said, "My faith can move mountains"

So Mohammed said, "my faith can move skyscrapers"

26. I hate people who are mean to fat people. They have feelings to you know.

Like hunger and insecurity.

27. How can you tell every joke on this subreddit is posted by a black person?

Because they're all stolen.

28. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

29. Whats black and blue and hates sex?

5 year old in my trunk

30. The Little Mermaid

They asked for a ginger to be cast in the live action Little Mermaid movie, but unfortunately the casting director was severely dyslexic

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