Rav4xle 4 year.agoMental health hotline.Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline. If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership. If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway. If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names. If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911. If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Now imagine NOT being in jail or getting shot
But then I didn't, because what if he just have a blast. You never know, and I didn't want to take any risk ...
4,000 years ago, Jewish God gave the Jews Israel as their homeland under a contract, where the terms were "If you uphold the 613 commandments of God, your homeland canbe Israel." ; The Jews broke the terms of the contract, they didn't uphold the 613 commandments of God, and due to this breach of contract, Jewish God stripped them of any rights to live Israel. When you have a Jewish God, of course you're going to get fucked over for breach of contract!
Everywhere
You have to sit in the back of the oven.
They tried to take a shit in the middle of the Autobahn but the cars were going too fast.
Deformed.
A School Bus Full Of Children
She even had to stand in the back of the gas chamber.
When they stop working, give em a smack
Because the slow ones are in jail.
That isn't funny!
So I said " a psychiatrist"
The Italian plane has hair under its wings.
Because it means at least he's not a rapist.
I saw this horrible person on tiktok today. Here is the video: [tiktok video ](https://vm.tiktok.com/wpy42r/) Honestly we should all get on his stream tonight and figure out what his problem is 😂😂
Yea that's the joke.
But I think its because she's a vegan now.
Racism has many faces.
Throw a penny off the cliff. How do you get two Jews to jump off a cliff? Tell them the penny is still down there
Show Off!
It only takes one nail to hang the picture
Aspies = people with Asperger's Syndrome.
The anchor
A quarter pounder with cheese!
cop shoots at a flying cockroach but accidentally kills black man instead
So she disabled the cheat codes.
A prostitute can wash her crack and resell it.
Faggocytosis
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
Feeling down? Click in—guaranteed smiles! 😆
