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avatar 4 year.agowhy did the kid drop his ice cream?

because he got hit by a truck

4
0
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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. How many cops does it take to push a black man off a balcony?

None, he fell.

2. What happens after Muslim couple gets divorce?

They still remain cousins

3. I can tell my new sex toy was made in china.

She speaks chinese.

4. I have an advice for those who r facing a lot of problems in life

suicide

5. How do two marines find eachother in the dark?

Very satisfying.

6. 11/13/15

Never Baguette

7. What happens when a Jewish guy with an erection walks into a brick wall?

He breaks his nose.

8. Why is there no black character in the game "Clue"?

Because then the game would be called "Solved".

9. I failed my driving test the first time around. I was driving down a country road with the examiner when a rabbit ran out right in front of the car...

I remembered my instructor said you should never swerve or try and avoid an animal, it's dangerous and you can end up causing a more serious accident. You should always just hit it and keep on driving. Had to chase that cunt for miles across the fields before I got the fucker...

10. I was on a blind date with this girl...

And I told her, being funny is the second best way to get a girl into bed. She asked "what's the best way?" I said "a big knife." She laughed and said "you're funny." I said "wise choice."

11. What's the difference between Lord of the Rings and New York City

Two towers

12. My six-year-old son caught me masturbating this morning.

He said, "What are you doing daddy?" "It's called wanking," I replied. "You'll be doing this soon." "Why, daddy?" he asked. "Because my arm is fucking killing me."

13. A boy walks in on his dad in the shower.

The boy says, "Dad what's that big hairy thing between your legs?" Dad replies, "That's your sisters head, son."

14. What's the difference between Ukraine and your mother?

There's no definitive proof that thousands of Russians have entered Ukraine.

15. Barbie dolls give young boys unreal expectations

About how easy it is to decapitate a head

16. A white guy goes into a plastic surgeon and says, "I want to be a black man."

The doctor replies, "Alright, but in order to turn you into a black man, I'm going to have to darken your skin by 70%, reduce your brain mass by 20%, and add 4 inches to your penis." The white guy eagerly agrees to this and goes in for the operation. After the operation, the doctor says to the formerly white guy, "I'm so sorry... there was a mix up in your surgery notes. I ended up darkening your skin by only 20%, increasing your brain mass by 70%, and deducting 4 inches off your penis. Is there any way that you could ever forgive me?" The former white guy replies, "謝謝"

17. Last night at the party

I went to a party last night. I thought I looked pretty smart but some Jewish cunt decided she wanted to ruin my night. She yelled out over the crowd, "The '70s called. They want their shirt back!" I replied, "The '40s called. Your shower's ready." ___ (No karma for me please - the joke was swiped from the link below) http://www.sickipedia.org/racism/jew/i-went-to-a-party-last-night-i-thought-i-1181559

18. Why do Mexicans never have Sex Ed. and Driver's Ed. on the same day?

They have to give the donkey a break at some point.

19. A girl was gangraped by a group of mimes

They did unspeakable things to her

20. What’s the only Jewish overwatch character?

Ashe

21. Why is today called Black Friday?

Because everything is a steal

22. While having sex with my down syndrome girlfriend I realized something.

I'm fucking retarded.

23. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Obviously not 8 because my basement is still dark.

24. What is the most expensive haircut?

Chemotherapy.

25. Mommy, why am I getting Christmas presents in August?

Because it’s cheaper than chemotherapy.

26. If I had a nickel for every racist joke I ever told...

I'd probably get robbed by a black guy

27. Two Jewish men walk by a church

The church has a sign that says "convert to Christianity and get 50$" one man says to the other "Morty, I'm thinking about doing it." The man enters the church and comes out half an hour later. Morty asks "did you get your fifty dollars?" The man replies "is that all you people think about?"

28. I added Paul Walker on xbox live yesterday.

shame he spends all his time on the dashboard.

29. What does Hitler and Acetone have in common?

They're both excellent polish removers

30. What's black and covered in cobwebs?

Most of the jokes on this sub.

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