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avatar spazpekker 4 year.agoWhy’d do black people call why white people Honky?

It’s the last noise they hear before we run em over!

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. You know why people never knew that steven hawking's was british

You could never here his accent

2. Why are male feminists more dangerous than female feminists?

Because they're actually heard.

3. What were Michael J. Fox and Ozzy Osborne doing in a car together?

Parallel Parkinsons.

4. I was disappointed when I met Michael J Fox

I wanted to shake his hand but it was already shaking.

5. What do you call a black guy that nags?

A nagger you racist fuck

6. I named my daughter 'Juul'

so I could say "I hit juul all the time".

7. How do you blindfold a chinese person?

You put floss over their eyes.

8. What do you do when you see someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in some laundry and detergent

9. I used the rape whistle that I got!

Man, it's hard blowing that thing and keeping someone pinned down at the same time.

10. Gay midgets...

do they come out of the cabinet?

11. How do you start a rave in an epileptic ward?

Throw a flash bang

12. I read in a woman's magazine that the perfect husband is "wealthy, intelligent and has an off-button".

I'm not a fan of these distorted standards for men, how's a regular guy meant to compete with Stephen Hawking?

13. My Jewish neighbor is so cheap

he gets tasered by police just to charge his phone.

14. What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?

Optimistic...

15. So I was eating this girl out and I tasted Horse semen. Horse semen!! I looked up at here and said,” is that how you died grandma?”

16. What do you call a body positive cow?

A horse

17. What is a slave’s favorite junk food?

Cotton candy

18. How do you make a kid cry twice?

Use their teddy bear to wipe the blood off their pussy.

19. Me and R Kelly made a website

Should I call it”Kinderhub” or “Only kids”?

20. What do you use to clean black ice?

A Samboni

21. Why are genders like the twin towers?

There used to be 2 but now it’s a sensitive subject

22. What is a midgets favorite game

Mini golf

23. A Christian man was schizophrenic for as long as he remembered. He started medications and got cured.

Now he's an atheist.

24. After years and years of domestic violence in my life I realised its not right to hit a woman.

So i just pushed her down from 6th floor. kidding it was the 8th floor

25. My first ever rugby game was a lot like my first time having sex...

I was fucking sore at the end, but at least my dad came...

26. KEEP IT GOIING

I love your confidence!! if I were you I wouldn't be No one is perfect!! You just proved it Great idea!! Please never think again Wow you killed it!! Now do it to yourself KEEP IT GOING

27. After years of teasing my girlfriend about her anorexia,

she finally snapped.

28. What does Kim Kardashian's ass and the ocean have in common?

They’re both mostly plastic.

29. When Chuck Norris attends a feminist rally,

he comes back with his shirt ironed.

30. What do you call a phone call from your grandpa?

Boomerang

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