not-deleted-account 4 year.agoWhat disease does a black father get after his first child is born?GONErrhea
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...she'd be spinning in her ditch.
After three weeks the Syrians meet again at a McDonalds. The first Syrian makes his case for him being more American by saying: "Every day I have taken my son to softball practice and my daughter to ballet. I just purchased my first car and it is a Chevy El Camino. I've recently started listening to Toby Keith and Lynard Skynard and my favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys. Beat that!" The other Syrian simply replies with: "Get out of my country, you fucking towelhead."
By putting flowers on the grave
It's easy when I have a knife.
She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
Concentration problems
turns out Hollywood wants to be in me as a kid too
When I get older I'm going to name my son stupid, so when people ask me "Are you fucking stupid?" I can say "yes."
Wrecking a 19 year old pussy.
Little Seizures
two nukes weren't enough Edit: got banned from r/history for using this joke over there Edit 2: thanks for the support guys, they can grow three arms but they cant take a joke?
You can put a silencer on a gun.
Shooting started today at around 4PM on Westminster Bridge
I mean look at what happened when 3 million Jews got baked
An eternity in heaven.
The gap between a down syndrome kids eyes
The only thing left were the work boots.
Maybe you should lighten up a little.
A stewardess comes around offering drinks. She first approaches the Christian and asks if he'd like a drink. The christian replies, "if our lord and savior Jesus Christ wasn't shy to a glass of red, nor will I be!" So she pours him a small plastic cup of red wine. She proceeds to ask the Jew if he would like a beverage. The Jew replies "I wouldn't 'passover' the offer, I've got nowhere to be!" Finally she arrives at the Muslim and offers the same to which the Muslim replies, "sorry no thank you, I'm going to be piloting a plane soon and I really should be sober."
As soon as he leaves the room
Police Chief: "These are fantastic qualifications! You're a star recruit but we have one last test" Recruit: "What's that?" Police Chief: "Take this revolver, go outside, shoot one black guy and a rabbit." Recruit: "Why a rabbit?" Police Chief: "Great attitude, you've got the job."
You rape'em we scrape'em. No Fetus can beat us. Edit 1: As of November 3rd 2016 someone awesome have me reddit gold. Thank you kind stranger.
Gatorade *Edit, thanks for the gold kind stranger :)
For the life of me, I couldn’t think of what I had done wrong. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t sharing my popcorn...
I think she realized she'd lost the argument, because she didn't even reply. She just lifted the baby out of the sink and went upstairs...
I don’t know but it must be more than 10 cuz my basements still pitch black
i don't know. i just fly the drones
When I asked her if she would like to act out my favorite rape fantasy, she said "No".
Reload
Freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it
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