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avatar SakanaShiroLoli 4 year.ago"You are so ugly lol, such a neckbeard anime fan", - said a hot girl to the ugly guy.

Then I looked around my plane seat, and why is flight attendant nervous and everyone on the plane telling goodbye to their loved ones?

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What does a deaf gynecologist do?

Read lips.

2. What do people with cavities wear ?

Their T-Thirt (teeth hurt).

3. How does a rock pee?

He Dwayne's his Johnson.

4. Have you heard about the constipated mathematician

He worked it out with a pencil

5. What was the philosopher Beluga's greatest question?

Do I have free whale?

6. What did the two day old baby say to the one day old baby?

I was not born yesterday!

7. My dad told my mom that for Easter breakfast, we should only have frozen prepackaged waffles because thats what he wanted. I said…

Thats pretty Eggotistical of you

8. What did the dog say when it ate too much?

"Barf Barf!"

9. The flamingo won the race!

You could say he had a leg up.

10. Why are many lesbians still attracted to Dwayne Johnson

Because Rock beats scissors.

11. What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing. He was gladiator.

12. Did you know you can get pasta shaped like grains of rice?

Orzo I’ve been told…

13. What is needed to play the rap version of many board games?

Just a Gangsters pair o' dice

14. How do you tell the sex of an ant?.

Drop it in a glass of water. If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats, boyant.

15. What do you call a Mexican who lost his protein powder?

No whey Jose

16. I told my wife today that I have the same birthday as Adolf Hitler. She said, "It's crazy to think that such a disgusting loathsome figure, who ruined the lives of so many people....

.... shares the same birthday as Adolf Hitler."

17. What did the scarf say to the hat?

You go on a head, ill hang around right here

18. Last Easter, Jesus gave me a rose. Guess what he gave me this Easter?

Rose, again.

19. Whenever someone asks me to sing in a very high pitch, I fake it by lip synching.

It's my false-etto voice.

20. What do you call a scientist who studies Sea Cows?

A Moo-rine Biologist.

21. What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?

He hits a gnome run

22. What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?

Carlos!

23. What do French hedgehogs see on Groundhog Day?

Their chateau.

24. You know the German government hired a bunch of gymnasts from Prague?

Yeah, they wanted a system of Czechs and Balances.

25. I told my students that if they can get a job working with and fixing water pumps...

They'll always live well.

26. How do chimp chefs keep themselves clean?

They put an apron

27. I applied to be the next pope

Fingers crossed!! Whoops, I mean crucified!

28. My wife told me that I should embrace my mistakes

I gave her a hug

29. Why do snakeskin clothes never last long?

It's because people always throw hissyfits

30. The electrical wiring on the ISS is really sketchy.

None of the circuits run to ground.

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