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avatar randomusername3828 4 year.agoIf trump wins the election, I will leave the United States

If Biden wins the election, I will leave the United States This is not a political post, I just want to travel

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What is similar between a black man and a dirt bike?

they both need a hit or two to get working

2. I went out to the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions. It made me cry...

Onions was a good dog

3. What did Usain bolt finish that Hitler couldn't

The race

4. Did you know Trump sought sexual services from abroad?

The broad's name? Melania

5. What do you call a Blackman driving a mail van

A delivery driver u racist cnt

6. What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese

7. In light of Wayfair gate

I guess they aren’t Wayfair to children

8. What do you call a spanish execution?

A Guillatino

9. China having the world's largest population

is proof that size doesn't matter

10. What was Jesus' after school job?

Walking people's fish.

11. You're like a dream.

Not there when I wake up.

12. Police: you are arrested for having black skin

Me (who skinned a black person): this is why nobody likes you

13. What do you call a horny fisherman?

A MasterBaiter

14. I asked my boyfriend if i was the only one, he's been with.

He said "yes the others were atleast sevens or eights"

15. What’d you call a Chinese paedophile?

Fuk ‘em yung !!!

16. How do you kill a clown?

Stab it repeatedly

17. What starts with A, ends with N, and means ending the life of a child?

African

18. When did hitler kill himself?

After he saw the gas bill

19. I just got my 23&me results back - they say I’m Asian

I’m pretty sure I’m not though, I have 3 daughters. I would’ve killed 2 of them by now.

20. Throwing acid is wrong...

In some people's eyes

21. What’s the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the Abuse Shelter? The dishes if she knows what’s good for her.

22. You know what happened as soon as Steven hawking died

He got Dee dossed

23. Have you ever ate out a girl from California?

You either get one of the two things; you’ll taste the ocean, you know plastic... or you’ll get a mouth full of dick.

24. What is it called when American Police picks up arms against the local populace?

Huntington's

25. What the difference between a baby and cancer?

I dont go to jail when I beat cancer.

26. What is the difference between Santa Claus and a Priest?

The gift that they give to children

27. Do you know how to keep a racist in suspense?

28. Just started work in a record shop.

A black lad walks in and says "Got anything by The Doors"? I said "yes 2 cameras and an alarm now fuck off".

29. What's twelve inches long, purple and can make a woman scream all night?

Cot death

30. What did the gay man say to the paraplegic ?

I’d rather be a fruit than a vegetable.

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