HappyVAMan 4 year.agoWaiting for election results is like waiting for a grade on a group project.I know I did my part right, but I am worried the rest of you screwed it up.
Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.
In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Usually found dead on the side of the road
Pick it up and suck its cock.
now is the perfect time to tell the kids that Santa didn't make it through the pandemic.
I've never run so far in all my life.
8:00 I made a snowman 8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman 8:15 So, I made a snow woman 8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere 8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it should have been two snowmen instead 8:22 The transgender ma..wom...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts 8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot noses, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with 8:28 I am being called a racist by a pedestrian because the snow couple is white 8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman must wear a burqa 8:40 Three Police cars arrive saying someone has been offended 8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicts women in a domestic role 8:43 An Equality Act officer arrived and threatened me with prosecution 8:45 TV news crew from the local news station shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I reply, "Snowballs" and am called a sexist. 9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, pervert, racist, homophobic sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather 9:10 Far left protestors offended by everything are marching calling for my head 9:29 My kids are taken from me and I lose my job
The Americans were chasing him.
First she gets her diary published which is every girl's nightmare. Then she doesn't even get to profit from it which is every Jew's nightmare.
So, my gf blew me two days ago. The next morning, her breath was rancid. She said it smelled the way my dick tasted. So, this morning my breath was so so bad. I reminded her the last thing I had was her cooking. Anyway, long story short, I am single now.
A restraining order
Small cute, and I’m probably gonna bang it on my coffee table
The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.
...I’d just found $5,000 in the parking lot...
Xi Jinping, head of the Communist Party in China, calls up President Trumo with an emergency. He says "Our largest condom factory has exploded! My people's favorite form of birth control. It's a diaster! So the American President says "Xi, the American people would be happy to do anything without our power to help you." So Xi says, "I do need your help. Could you possibly send one million condoms as soon as possible to tide us over?" President says "Certaninly I'll get right on it." And he says "Oh, and one more favor please?" "Yeah." "Could the condoms be red in color, at least 10 inches long, and at least 4 inches in diameter?" President says "You want'em all the same size?" Xi says, "Yeah, 10 inches long, 4 inches in diameter, red in color." Trump says "No Problem." He hangs up the phone, he calls the president of Trojan and he says "I need a favor. You've gotta make one million condoms right away and send'em to China." Trojan guy says "Consider it done." President says "Great. Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10 inches long and 4 inches wide." Trojan guy says, "Easily done. Anything else?" President says "Yeah, one more thing. Print "Made in American, size small on each one." This joke was from Joe Bob Briggs on Shudder.
Two jews were fighting over a penny
[removed]
Husband: tell me something which will make me happy and sad at the same time wife: your dick is longer than your friends
Because you know that they can't fight back
The only time paedophiles get home delivery.
Guess, women slipped to 3 now.
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out of a window.
Trans Atlantic slave trade
Because women know that men deserve better.
Having to drop the bomb on her twice, before she gets it.
Me: "Bitch you should be making oats!"
Made a coonskin cap
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
It was great turning it into a 3v1.
Old enough to mount.
more jokes Here waiting for you
best dad jokesjokes for adultHere, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!
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