dave_brush014 4 year.agoA sixth grade teacher asks her class how many were Trump fans.A sixth grade teacher asks her class how many were Trump fans. Despite them not knowing what a Trump fan was but wanting to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands. Well, all except for little Timmy. The teacher looks over to little Timmy and asks, “Timmy, why are you being different again?” He says, “well, because I’m not a Trump fan.” “Why aren’t you a Trump fan?” “Because I’m a democrat.” The teacher snuffs and says, “oh really? Why are you a democrat?” He responds, “well, my mom is a democrat, my dad is a democrat, so I’m a democrat.” She then says, “Oh really? Then what if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?” Little Timmy smiles and says, “a Trump fan.”
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Girls hate football
I don't know what scared him worse, that I was naked, or I knew where he lived.
If you happen to visit the church regularly, you'll probably lose it before you're 14.
unfortunately, he believes actions speak louder than words.
They ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plane
Anyway, long story short, I'm now saving a fortune on bacon.
Show her a used tampon and ask what period it's from. Wakka wakka!
"If you ever come close to me, I'll fucking skin you alive. When we're sleeping, you don't fucking touch me. You hear me? Don't ever talk to me, either." "Fucking great." I thought, "First day in here and I'm already married."
... When i saw a black man walking with a new looking bicycle. I thought sh*t that looks like the one i own. So i ran to my house as fast as i could. Luckily mine was still in the cellar cleaning my boots.
There is a man going for a stroll through the woods one day, enjoying the outdoors. In the distance, he hears the soft sobbing of a child. He follows it, the cries getting louder. As he approaches the source of the sobs, he sees a dead man and a woman lying on the ground, the cold in between the two hysterically crying. "Lilly boy, little boy, my god what happened!" Choking back tears, the child went on to explain what happened. "Mom... Mommy and da-daddy started arguing and and... " The man kneeled down on one knee, placing his hand on his shoulder. "It's OK son, let it out." "Mommy slapped daddy and daddy got mad so daddy shot mommy and kept yelling at her about how it was all her fault and he's going to... To.. He was going to make sure it never happend again." He was clearly traumatized, but the man let him finish. "daddy pulled out his gun and... And shot mommy. Then he.... He screamed and threw it. He was crying a lot.... I shot daddy. He got up and said this was all my fault. I shot him again until he stopped moving. Then... Then I heard mommy. She said she loved me.... Then she stopped moving." He was still crying, harder then ever. The man stood up, took a step back. "Do you still have the gun little boy?" The boy shook his head, and pointed over towards a tree. The man retrieved the gun, and walked back towards the boy. "Christ kid.... " he said, unzipping his fly, "this is not your fucking day."
The Police
Because she’s a woman
An abortion gets rid of the problem PERMANENTLY
Cracking open a boy with the cold ones
So women can moan even when they're happy.
Imagine if roles were reversed and it was handsome and the feminist.
...It's called "parkin sans" and it's very difficult to read.
They prefer to drive rincolns
Anal cancer
Guilty
You'd almost think they were black guys.
If you can't find yours after a couple days, it's probably dead.
We're all God's children and I don't know about you, but I've never even seen the bastard...
Put it into airplane mode.
And a condom floats to the top so one says "ok guys, who farted?"
God doesn't punish anyone twice.
A pounding sensation in the ass
free delivery
I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14.
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling
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