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avatar unserious-dude 29 day.agoElementary Genius

A female teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class of 3rd grade. The boy said "Ma'am, I should be in 4th grade, Ï'm smarter than my sis & she's in the 4th grade". The M'am {Teacher} had heard enough of his complains & took the boy to the Principal's office. She explained everything to the Principal who decided to test the boy with some questions that a 4th grade should know. * *Principal: What's 3+3?* Boy: 6 * *Principal: 6+6?* Boy: 12 & so on.. The Principal asked the boy many questions and the boy got them right. The Principal then asked M'am to send the boy to 4th grade. M'am decided to ask some more questions & the Principal agreed. 1. *M'am: What does a cow have 4 of,that Ï've only 2 of?* Boy: Legs 2. *M'am: What's in ur pants that u have but I don't have?* Boy: Pockets 3. *M'am: What starts with a C & ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious & contains thin whitish liquid?* Boy: Coconut 4. *M'am: What goes in hard & pink then comes out soft & sticky?* The principal's eyes open really wide, but before he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge. Boy: Bubble Gum 5. *M'am: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up, I get wet before you do. What am I?* Boy: Tent. The principal was looking restless 6. *M'am: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me 1st; what am I?* Boy: Wedding Ring 7. *M'am: I come in many sizes. When Ï'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good?* Boy: Nose 8. *M'am: I've a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates, I come with a quiver* Boy: Arrow 9. *M'am: What starts with 'F' & ends with a 'K' & if u dont get it, u've to use ur hand?* Boy:Fork 10. *M'am: Whats it that all men have,it's longer in some men than others, the Pope doesn't use his & a man gives it to his wife after marriage?* Boy: Surname 11. *M'am: What part of the man has no bone, but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpin & is responsible for making love?* Boy: Heart The principal breathed a sigh of relief & told the teacher "Send the boy to University, I got the last 10 questions wrong myself!"

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

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1. Whats the difference between a tree and a child?

A tree makes good paper

2. What do a rattlesnake and a condom have in common?

I don’t fuck with either of them

3. What did the atheist say to Jesus when he died

What the hell

4. Astrology:

because millions of planets and stars have spent billions of years lining themselves up just to let her know that she'll "meet someone with nice eyes today."

5. Adele has contracted that flesh eating virus.

Doctors have given her only two decades to live.

6. What’s the difference e between and Anti-Vaxers child and Donald Trump?

One is a president with a mild..... major retardation, and the other is dying from liver failure. Horrible joke? I know.....

7. Life is like a box of chocolates.

It doesn't last long for fat people. Old but gold.

8. Why do black people smell?

So blind people can hate em too

9. Why are there no feminists in Japan.

Because Japan hunts whales. Credit where credit is due I found this in the comment section of Dr Shaym’s video 50 Female Privileges. It was written by Sean Strozewski.

10. A leaf and an emo fall from a tree which hits the ground first?

The leaf, the rope stops the emo.

11. What does Foxy and a Gay Person have in common?

You don't get scared by Foxy when he comes out of the closet.

12. Beauty maybe on the inside.

But it is definitely not a given.

13. A skunk and a rabbit are blind and are thinking of touching each other to see if they could identify each other so the skunk says you have floppy ears furry you must be a rabbit and the rabbit says your greasy and u stink u must be a paki

14. what are suicide bombers afraid of most?

dying alone.

15. Today, nose strips are used to remove blackheads.

200 years ago, guillotines did the trick.

16. What's the difference between Jews and Santa?

Santa goes *down* the chimney.

17. Why was Princess Diana’s car going so fast?

She was later for her flying lesson with John Denver

18. Did you hear that OJ Simpson caught the Corona Virus barehanded?

The real killer is his PPE didn’t fit.

19. I was called homophobic the other day and I just don't get it. I'm not homophobic at all!

I'm not scared of faggots in the least bit, I just really hate them.

20. I tied up my girlfriend and activated a lighter near her heart.

It was a heartwarming experience for the both of us.

21. What do the Coronavirus and murder hornets have in common?

Neither of them have killed you yet

22. Isn’t it ironic

Isn’t it ironic that Eid al-Fitr sounds like Adolf Hitler?

23. You know why people never knew that steven hawking's was british

You could never here his accent

24. Why are male feminists more dangerous than female feminists?

Because they're actually heard.

25. What were Michael J. Fox and Ozzy Osborne doing in a car together?

Parallel Parkinsons.

26. I was disappointed when I met Michael J Fox

I wanted to shake his hand but it was already shaking.

27. What do you call a black guy that nags?

A nagger you racist fuck

28. I named my daughter 'Juul'

so I could say "I hit juul all the time".

29. How do you blindfold a chinese person?

You put floss over their eyes.

30. What do you do when you see someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in some laundry and detergent

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